I think you are currently wondering what OCD mean right? I was also confused the first time I heard about OCD so don't worry because I you are difinitely going to understand better after reading this.
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Some years ago, my elder sister @zizymena posted on our family whatsapp group page that she was suffering from OCD. The 'suffering' in the message changed my mood immediately. I was not happy knowing that my sister was sick or so I thought. I was thinking she was suffering from one chronic sickness since I didn't know what OCD was all about at that moment. I called her to know what it was all about and what we should do about it but I was shocked when she started laughing.
I was pissed at first because she wasn't taking it serious. How could she be laughing in such situation? It was then she told me that it was nothing serious and that the only problem was that she always see herself going back home to check if she locked the doors or if she switched off the lights or the gas even when she had already done this before leaving the house.
Her explanation calmed me down but I was stunned at the same time because I also find myself doing this every now and then. Does that mean I am suffering from OCD too? This was the question running through my mind and in the quest to get answers about this, I decided to do a research about it.
I got to find out that OCD means Obsessive-compulsive disorder and it is actually a mental health disorder which is characterized by intrusive thoughts in form of obsessions and repetitive behaviors or mental acts in the form of compulsions. I found out that these obsessions and compulsions are often time-consuming and they tend to always interfere with our daily life.
After analysing this, I came to a conclusion that even though I am also suffering from OCD, mine wasn't in the form of obsession, rather it is in the form of compulsion since I only have issues with always checking things which is one of the common compulsions and not with intrusive thoughts. I can't count the number of times I do go back home after leaving the house to check the locks, appliances, and other objects to ensure they are closed or turned off even when I know I did all these before leaving.
Is it those times I had to leave the office to come back home because I had a feeling I didn't switch off the gas or the time I had to stand up several times from the bed to ensure that the doors were properly locked? To be honest, this thing can be so frustrating. I have tried every trick in the book just for me not to keep coming back to check but I still find myself doing this. I don't know if there anyone reading this that can proffer solutions to this. I would really appreciate if you drop the solution in the comment section.
What prompted this post was because of what happened to me recently. I am still mad at myself for not listening to that inner voice that told me not to go. I wasted my money, time and energy going back to the office three times because I thought I didn't lock the doors and I didn't carry the generator inside. I couldn't tell anybody this because I know how much they would laugh at me.
I left the office very late that evening and on getting to the house, my mind began to play a rough game with me making me think that I didn't lock the office. I tried pushing that off but there was no way I could concentrate with such thought in my head. I was so tired but I just had to head back to the office just to free my mind. I know I closed the door, and a voice within me kept telling me I did but something kept telling me that I didn't.
On getting to the office, I found out that I actually closed the door. I didn't bother opening the door and thank God the Bike man that took me down to the office was still waiting for me. So I asked him to take me back home. Just before I got to the house, that same voice came again telling me that I didn't lock the back door. I became bothered again and I just had to ask the bike man to take me back to the office. I opened the door when I got there and found out that the back door was locked.
The bike man took me back home and yet again that voice came telling me that I didn't carry the generator in. It was so convincing because I didn't notice if the Generator was actually inside the office the other time I entered to check if the back door was locked. The bike man was already leaving when I called him back to take me back to the office yet again.
To be sincere, I was already fed up at that moment but I just had to go back so as not to find out the next day that my generator was stolen because I left it outside. On getting to the office the third time. I found out that the generator wasn't outside but inside. Even the bike man was laughing at me because I was just acting like a fool that believes everything that comes to his mind. How can I go back to the office three times because of what I was feeling? The funniest part of this is that the bike man didn't even pity me, he still had to collect the complete fare.😔 I can't imagine I wasted my hard earned money for nothing.
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