It is with deep sense of regret that I announce the death of our darling Club- Chelsea Football Club, a club which have enjoyed over 100 years of existence but gave up in the 2023 after suffering from a new kind of pressing in Modern Football called Depressing
Due to the demise of our club, I feel it is imperative that I write this letter to everyone who is able to read in case you receive any sad or urgent news concerning me. Please hold Chelsea Football Club accountable.
Dear Chelsea Fans and Beloved Haters,
It is beyond wild that getting to write it Letter to you all is becoming harder than Chelsea getting a win. Football was meant to be the game, and blue was supposed to be the color, but right now The Color is hazy and it appears that we now smoke and play golf instead because football for Chelsea Football Club seems to be more difficult than calculus.
The fearless lion in our Club Logo has now taken sabbatical leave, we have fallen beyond enemy lines, we have become the object of Elon Musk's twitter trend due to the low budget Harry Potter who cast a spell to ensure that the only high press we watch this season is Depression leading us into regression which has caused us confusion to ask these questions
HOW, WHY AND WHY AGAIN DID WE GET HERE
When you go from a consistent winner to an unidentified failure and then finish the cycle with a recognized failure, there must be a core problem. The Tuchel- Potter- Frank Cycle feels like a menstrual cycle, with Chelsea's pain coming and going each month. I'll never understand it.
The more you wipe, the more you see shit. I know we have a habit of changing managers like we change a baby's diapers, but this shit at the club is really smelly. If we had wanted to hire Low Budget Harry Potter, he could have become the head of our clarity foundation instead, where at least he would be effective. Harry Potter had no business overseeing my Club. Given the current form, Chelsea would still face Newscastle, Spurs, Arsenal, Brentford, City, and Brighton. As a result, we should start getting ready for a relegation fight.
Imagine escaping Potter just to return to an ex-lover, Frank Lampard, who nearly sent Everton to relegation. At this point, we do not need managers since we cannot be managed. Instead, we rely on Super Frankie to guide us securely to eternal rest in the Championships.
My mental health is in danger; whenever Chelsea is on the field, I might hear the Undertaker entrance song playing in my brain because we might get buried in the match with the players scurrying around like chickens without wings.
THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN POTTER AND FRANK IS THAT FRANK HAS PROVEN HIMSELF TIMES WITH NUMBER TO BE A KNOWN FAILURE..
The sole skill Kai Havertz, a clown who still plays football for Chelsea Football Club in the twenty-first century, possesses is the capacity to watch his pet online. He only contributes offsides and vibrations to the squad, and nothing else.
We even have a Zeeworld actor posing as a football player. At the rate things are going, Sterling should give up football and switch to cheerleading. Lest I forget the new Lord Maguire of Stamford Bridge, Kalidou Koulibaly, who claims to be the team's security guard but through whom almost anything can pass.
The so-called heroes on the team, especially the academy guys, are now criminals. My brain is already bleeding because I have never in my life seen an investment worth 600 million pounds seem so pointless.
When we next meet, I hope Real Madrid will be kind and not chew the rest of the club. Never let Football become your first love, and if you must support Chelsea Football Club, prepare yourself for life support.
All memes were created by me using Source and GIF from Source
