It is a hard pill to swallow that the system proves the existence of a thief to be more efficient in creating jobs than the existence of an honest living man. The bitter truth is crime has created jobs for police, lawyers, judges, bodyguards, securities and insurance companies.
I used to see criminal activities as not being of any good use to the community, but now their existence seems to have more potential to give back to the community through job creation. I also assumed all of them to be heartless and not bothered by how their actions would affect the victim. But I recently learnt that some criminals are full of compassion and class.
So, ladies! if you are after class, it doesn't always have to be those workaday geeks, nerds, affluent or blatantly honest living dudes whose actions barely give back to the community. Looks like there is also an option for compassionate and classy criminals!
Romantic Crime
As a South African, I can tell you that compassionate criminals exist here and their way of doing crime is quite romantic. Just imagine having a stranger steal your laptop and then make effort to email you an apology and your research proposal. On top of that, he gives you the option to be in charge and tell him if there's anything you need him to send to you before he sells the laptop. Whooo! I bet you 50HIVE that this guy is not only a compassionate hustling thief but is also a romantic criminal.
Source: Ngiyacolisa means I'm sorry in the Zulu language
I can't even begin to imagine the goosebumps and butterflies in my stomach after receiving an email in my name telling me that my laptop is about to be sold - but I don't have to rewrite my research proposal or be stressed over lost files. For such a ROMANTIC crime, I would be swept off my feet to buy the laptop back from the thief and bid more than the current buyer is willing to pay.
Maybe the compassionate thief will be willing to negotiate the price and use some of the money to pay for our drinks when we seal the laptop trading deal. Ladies, why can't we give this type of criminal a chance? I mean if there are high-profile lawyers who can defend a murderer or sexual predator for money, then why not have some of us create a balance and use affection to hypnotize criminals to specialize in compassionate crime and aim to never harm the victim?
We can still flex and say my other half is a clean-classy "thiefologist, robberist or scammerist". The truth is criminals are always going to be around and programming their mindset to have class and compassion could save a lot of lives. We already have those who prefer to do a clean job, those who swear by their mom to never hurt kids, pregnant women, disabled and mentally-ill people. So why not help to double these standards?
Compassionate-Classy crime
There are some parts of the country, especially downtown in Johannesburg CBD where you just become a Display Mannequin if walking there with your fancy belongings. Yeah, the only difference is that the Mannequin attract window shoppers but you Mr/Ms flashy will end up attracting an airport security check vibe. You know how it goes right? You get a human TSA to do all the screening and it's a guarantee that your valuable items will be confiscated because they do not qualify to be on that street at all.
These are streets with people always waiting to mug people and walking alone just makes you an easy target. Walking in a crowd also puts you at risk of pickpocketing. The sad part is everyone goes to this city to look for green pastures but with the high inflation and unemployment rate, your wallet or purse can be another person's green pasture.
Some thieves are fairly classy when they take your wallet they always give you taxi fare so you can at least get home safely. If the Nyaope (street drug) hit the anterior insular cortex (part of the brain responsible for empathy) - they will walk you just close to the transport station so you don't get robbed of your transport fare by another group. Some will also throw back your mobile sim card to save you the hustle to do a sim swap or getting a new mobile number. But they always take the rest of your valuable items even shoes if you're the types who like expensive brands.
There is also a guy who got mugged when he was out in the street about to request Uber to get back home from a club. Two guys took all his belongings including his phone. But seeing that he was walking alone and he complied scored him a favour from the compassionate thieves. They told him it was not safe to walk alone and if other thieves find him with nothing to offer they might harm him. They allowed him to use his phone to request Uber and waited while sharing his beer but quickly disappear with all the things they took from him when the Uber approached.
Some can be physically harmless if you cooperate and are even willing to share cigarettes to calm you down. But if you become a threat they can be hostile - some people would get stabbed for trying to fight the perpetrator while others get escorted and free streetwise tips to reward your cooperation. There is room to choose your fate with classy thieves and I think there are more compassionate criminals out there.
Thank you for stopping by!
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