Crushed Crusher

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Hello good people, this is my second attempt in the comtest currently ongoing in the comedy open mic community

I never thought I’d get crushed by a crush without a chance to open up.

I had my first crush when I was in primary 4. I thought the world revolved around him since I always looked forward to seeing him in school everyday. We were not friends so I stalked him almost everywhere, everyday but I guess he never even knew about it till we graduated.

He remained a crush till the last day we spent in school.

Another crush I had was a male lead actor in a Korean drama.

I made sure that I stalked him in every movie even though he did me dirty on several occasions till I got over him. He always fell for his female lead actresses in every drama of his that I watched.

It was quite hurtful but what choice do I have?

I really can’t control other people’s preferences. In fact, I wouldn’t continue crushing on a man who doesn’t even know that I exist.

So this time around, my mind played a more natural game.

In the middle of clinical postings at the university teaching hospital while I was in school, I took a break from work to get something to munch on and I decided to go with two of my friends

A lady and a guy.

We set out to get the edibles. As we walked, we argued about getting snacks or actually eating real food which would be more filling but would take much of our time.

I disagreed totally about getting food because I wasn’t hungry per se, I just needed something to snack on.

The arguments continued until I saw this guy briefly behind a packed car.
I gave up on the arguments immediately and agreed to eat real food.

Very quickly, I organized myself by tucking my shirt in properly. I opened my phone’s front camera to adjust my hairdo.
I’m sure my friends were confused about my sudden change of decision and organization.

My lady friend looked around in wonder as though a dress freak lecturer or professor would pop out of the ground or would dash out and walk towards us because why else would I try to tuckin my already tucked shirt in the middle of the road to the cafeteria.

“That guy, that guy”

I whispered to her and I repeatedly slapped her arm as if it’ll remind her of whom I was referring to.

She squeezed her face in discomfort so I stopped hitting her.

“Oh sorry!”

“Which guy sef?
She responded loudly.

“Shhhhhhh, don’t shout. What if he hears you? That guy in MB;BS that I told you about. That I’m crushing on!”

Her face lit up immediately.

“Ohhh, that guy”

We looked up together and it looked like he was heading our way.

We walked behind him as fast as we could hoping to catch up with his pace.

Well, my lady friend wanted to see his face but I wanted to talk to him.

At least a simple “hi” wouldn’t hurt anyone.

“This must be fate!”

“I’ve been seeing him frequently around here, looks like they’re on clinical postings too”

“Maybe Sha” my guy friend replied.”

“So what are you guys going to do now?"

“We’ll follow him, we’ll buy from whichever store he wants to buy from and we’ll make sure to say hello”

I replied.

My lady friend boosted my morale as she cheered me on the journey to shoot my shot.

I wasn’t particularly interested in shooting my shot though, I just wanted to be acknowledged. This one shouldn’t end up like my primary school crush.

When I was just a few steps behind him, I was busy gathering momentum and courage to say hello to him.

“What will I say?”

“Won’t he think I was a broad daylight robber?”

“ How would I explain being this close to him when the road is obviously wide and free?”

“What if he snubs me?”

I don’t even know his name

All these went through my mind as I walked even faster.

“Hey!”

Of course that wouldn’t be my inner self screaming “hey” at him already.

He stopped and turned to look to the right.

A fair young lady in scrubs waved at him with a very big smile.

“Omoooo”

“Who is this one?”

I thought within myself.

I stopped too, pretended to wait for my friends to catch up.

I low-key wished they’d exchange pleasantries quickly so that we can continue our journey.

He waited as she walked up to him.

“They might actually be classmates”

There’s actually nothing wrong with greeting someone on the way yeah?

As she walked closely, I realized she was on a scrub that identified as another institution entirely, who came to do part of their clinical postings in our teaching hospital.

“ohh, they might be old time friends”
I smiled faintly hoping that I was right.

“How’re you doing?”

He said calmly and she responded.

Eiii, my heart melted again that whattt???
What a cool voice!

Anyways they exchange greetings for a few seconds but instead of her to free the innocent guy after the side hug, she clung onto him and walked forward with him.

“Oh my goodness, what’s happening in front of my two eyes?”

I followed them gently, with a reasonable distance of course.

My guy friend who has been busy recording video clips of the whole scene bursted into laughter.

I looked at him briefly and focused on my journey.

I didn’t want to believe what he was thinking.

“I won’t give up”

I was so determined to get noticed by him.
I thought I was in some Bollywood melodrama where a courageous woman opens up to her crush and they live happily together ever after.

“Oh what a sweet story!”

I really hoped that she went her separate ways quickly so that I could finish my mission. I had the lines and picture in my head but the only barrier to the realization was this bumper girl.

I looked back and signaled at my friends to catch up.

They were still trying to console me about what I decided not to believe when an interlocked fingers flashed before my eyes.
I wanted to go crazy.

“Did they just lock hands?”

“Oh noooooo”

She only came for clinical postings less than two weeks ago for crying out loud, and to my own knowledge, I’ve known him longer than she knew him. So how come?

I was so narrow-minded and I refused to listen to what my friends were saying. Instead, I passed aggressions on my friends for recording a video of the whole thing.

My guy friend laughed really hard at me that afternoon and my lady friend tried to calm me down to take heart.

“It's just a crush, you know”
She said gently.

“You’re right though..”

I took the phone from my friends in annoyance and watched myself display heartfelt moves of love towards my crush.
I laughed so much that I couldn’t believe I did all that I did.

I consoled myself eventually with the thought that “we can’t actually change other people’s preferences”.

He probably didn’t know that I had a crush on him.

So that was how my last crush crushed me and ended.

Thank you for reading my story.