Babies are evil

in #hive-164166last year

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Dear diary, this is the last time I'll be writing to you because I'm about to go commit murder and I don't think they allow diaries in jail.

I woke up this morning to find that my chocolates in the house has finished and after careful consideration, I've narrowed my suspect to my two year old cousin and my dog.

My dog doesn't have hands to unlock my drawer and take it out so it has to be my cousin. This is more proof to my investigation that babies are really evil, they can fool everybody else but not me, I see right through them.

Sometimes I catch my cousin staring at me like he knows I'm unto him, other times I catch him staring through the little hole in my door. I've watch a lot of horror movies to know when there's a demon in the house and I tell everybody he might be one but no one ever believes.

I'm pretty sure I heard him laugh when my mother was looking for lipstick and she found it in my room. I think he's working with someone else because she also found a written note in my room saying I couldn't wait to come out as being gay to my parents. I know two year olds can't write so it must be from the baby association, check my YouTube @babiesareevil for more info.

Yesterday, my dad bought my favorite chocolates for me and I locked it in my drawer far away from the reach of anybody. I know someone comes into my room because I've seen nails on my bed before but I thought they fell off the wooden partition on the roof. I woke up today and found the drawer empty.

There's only me, my mom and him around, everybody else went go church, my mom's church didn't have service today, and my cousin is "sick" so he can't attend church but I know that was just an excuse so he could stay back and steal my chocolates. He's in the living room now with my mom watching "how to get away with murder", how convenient.

Some of you might say I'm a little bit paranoid and he is just a two year old baby but I know what I'm talking about and it's not because I'm off my meds.

I can't find the chocolate wrappers yet but I know if I check his pampers I'll find chocolate, not the type that comes out of us.

This might be the last time I write to you because my family is going to be short by a member today once and for all and I'm sure we all know who that is.

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Babies not evil but good in putting parents and others in suspense even when they're innocent we'll blame them.

Babies are always to blame though, sometimes, they're innocent. Is the baby the one that unlocked your drawer? Did you keep the keys in his reach? Can 2 years old baby unlock with keys?