News update, the government of my country decided to change the design of the currency and asked all the citizens to deposit all the old notes to their various banks but refused to release the newly designed note so everybody's moving cashless.
Most people would see this as a problem because grocery shops are refusing to sell to people who don't have physical cash which means no food for everybody but we all needed to lose a little weight anyways if we're being honest with ourselves.
You can't even make mobile transfers to hospitals which means you're on own if you have an accident. Let's look the bright side to everything, the world has been looking for a way to depopulate the earth and my country might have cracked that code.
I'm not really bothered about the whole situation because broke people are finally at the top of the table, let me explain. The only people suffering the from the crisis are people who actually have money to spend, not me though, I have nothing, nothing but my virginity but that's about to be taken too.
People can't even leave their homes or get a decent meal, its like the corona virus all over only this time there's no vaccine conspiracy.
The fact that I still have a sense of humor is a miracle because there's nothing funny in the country again.
I keep on saying this, every Nigerian should be close to God because you can't finish from this country and still go to hell, you want to suffer your whole life? Accept Jesus or Allah or even Budda, you know we're all atheists in other people's religion.
Devil: What are your names?
person 1:I'm @diikaan and her name is @merit.ahama.
Devil: Oh you're Nigerians, head over to that table, a demon will serve you food and a glass of water shortly, you've suffered enough up there.
@diikaan : could I get cold water??
Devil: yeah, there's a fridge to your left, we're in hell doesn't mean we're animals, we even have wifi.
We need a divine intervention from God Himself, people are either horny, depressed or depressed from being horny. If you're Nigerian and you're reading this, goodluck, if you're not Nigerian, hey how's the weather?
Well, I'm off to lose my virginity, wish me luck.