Nowadays I can't sleep properly and anyone can easily notice it by seeing my face. I always go back to bed thinking of a peaceful morning without any fear but unfortunately, these days are not peaceful. My day starts replying to a lot of text messages and phone calls. Recently, many people started contacting me, many of them I don't know, most of them are from news channels from Bangladesh asking for a Kharkiv's or Ukraine's story. I am not a celebrity and I wonder why they think I am a celebrity and I have all the answers about Ukraine. It seems funny to me thinking or calling myself a celebrity...
I am hardly trying to stay away from being anxious, it's not good for my health and I am always noticing a few changes and effects on my health because of stress and fear. Many people are supporting me, motivating me, especially my Ukrainian friends where on the other hand, my foreign friends left already their country or fleed.
Anyway, living in such a disaster and messy situation taught me a lot of patience and maturity. What to do in such a crisis? I don't have an answer yet, things are pretty bad, city is calm though many are saying still secure to live here in Kharkiv. Every day I make plans for the future, what to do, what not to do, and always live in confusion. I wish I could write something better, I wish I could offer you happy moments in life, but currently, I have nothing special to offer you.
I have injured again, well, nothing serious, I fall down on the hard surface and got hurt. I was outside with my crazy labrador and all of a sudden she pulled me and started running. I had lost control over her leash and fell on the hard surface. It was an embarrassing situation but most importantly, my dog continued running despite knowing I have fallen down. She became so excited seeing a kid playing football. And here I am, injured, feeling like a horrible owner who can't control her dog. The entire situation was embarrassing, I felt so bad because people around me were looking at me.
After coming home, I was feeling so bad, it was an ashamed feeling. Seeing my condition, my partner had decided to take me out for a walk, a place where I normally love to walk, and go there whenever I get a chance. That was so sweet of him though I don't know how long our relationship will continue. Probably he will leave Ukraine soon because his family is worried about him and I completely understand their concern. So I left the decision on him completely.
My mental situation is pretty fucked up...
We decided to go to Constitution Square, this is one of my favorite spots in Kharkiv city. In my opinion, an individual should see this place walking, just walk and enjoy the city view. Here, you will find the History of Kharkiv and will see some spectacular architectural structures.
Most of the buildings are office buildings, holding the history of Kharkiv. Each structure represents the different eras of soviet architecture and neo-classical architecture. During the war, many buildings were destroyed and restored again. Even the location name changed from era to era.
Kharkiv Drama Institution, Architecture institute (Branch), Several main branches of the banks, Kharkiv state auto-transport college located here. Of course, Kharkiv historical museum, the mayor's office, and Pokrovsky Monastery are also situated nearby. Anyone can gather an idea of the city just by exploring this place, this ancient square.
Probably there is nothing interesting compared to other large cities, but to me, this square is unique and interesting. Every time I look at the buildings, try to understand and see the architecture and people.
Today, the square seemed more empty than usual, many people left the city, Ukrainian military people are now all over the city. Restaurants are opened, shops are opened but still, I was experiencing the invisible tension around me. You can't see the anxiousness, you only feel it.
The city looked different though I haven't noticed any unusual activities except emptiness.
I really hope to see bright days, normal days like before. I have felt very bad seeing the condition of this city.
That's all for today, folks...
Until next time... Have a nice day everyone...
Thanks for reading my blog...
Love
Priyan
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