Snap, crackle, pop, fizz.
"What on earth is that sound?" I wonder....close the window.
SSSS, crackle crackle hiss pop pop hiss
Coming from directly behind my head. I would swing round to look, but I'm driving. Gotta keep my eyes on the road, but that noise is breaking my focus.
"Lory what is that hiss crackle noise?"
"It's mumble mumble mumble..." inaudible
"I can't hear you sweetheart, won't you say that again?"
"I said it's mumble mumble"
Slightly louder, but I still can't make out what she's saying. All the while the crackle hiss soundtrack continues.
It starts to feel like it's now inside my head it's so close to me and I start to wonder if perhaps this is a fusion event of brain cells exploding.
Hisssss, snap, snap, pop pop poppppp, hisss crackle snap.
Then I remembered seeing a packet of that popping candy in amongst Lory's sweetie gifts that she had received from her people during our trip. And she had a bottle of fizzy Sparberry and it all kinda made sense.
This is not the kind of sound that you want to hear out of the blue when you are driving and if I hadn't known that she had access to popping candy, it probably would have forced me to pull over and check out if it was indeed something behind me or if my blood vessels were popping off in my brain.
That stuff is stupidly loud when you put it in a bottle of carbonated soda and then close the lid. If you ever really want to freak someone out, put this next to their head while they are sleeping, it's bound to have that effect. Fun Times.
We were about half way
to our destination and I decided a stop was in order for "padkos" drink refills, a leg stretch and loo break. Along this route there are plenty of very nice Engen petrol stations, One Stops and the like. We pulled over and went inside, got freshened up and then went to find drinks.
There it was - the aisle of parental extortion right by the front counter - sweets and toys. Of course Lory was interested and having just been on the road for hours with little entertainment other than the odd Moo Moo out the window, she was probably definitely bored out of her brackets.
"Mommy can I have one of these please?" "What is that Lores?" "It's a Paw Patrol toy".
It's not a Paw Patrol toy, it's a Paw Patrol branded container of chewing gum (like why? Kids aren't even meant to have chewing gum) and it's fucking expensive for what it is.
Let me appeal to her sense of adventure to dissuade her "Hmmmm Lores, this has chewing gum in it which you can't have and it's a lot of money for such a small thing. Wouldn't you rather like to go to a toy shop tomorrow once we are back in Knysna and you will be able to get a much nicer toy and have an outing - what you think?"
Lory raises her eyebrows a bit with a big smile and says "Yes, let's go to a toy shop".
"Ok but then you have to put that back". "Ok mommy" and she put it back.
...distract her before she changes her mind!
"Let's go get our drinks - what drink would you like?"
"Hmmm I think I want a grape flavoured one"
"Ok, grape flavour it is"
I grab hers, choose mine and we head to the counter to pay. The lady at the counter points to her drink and informs me that they are on special and we can save a few bucks if we get two of them. Ok cool, totally sold on saving a few bucks. Go back and change my drink to the same as Lory's.
Get to the car, get her strapped into her carseat and we are on the road in no time - with padkos - fresh drinks and biltong. Should keep us going for the next hour or so. Twenty minutes later I'm in my head musing and I hear
"Mommy can you please open this for me?"
"But I did open your cooldrink"
"No, not my cooldrink, this Paw Patrol thing"
Wait, What?
What Paw Patrol...... Oh F@%#! ! !
Ok.
THAT Paw Patrol thing. The one that she had clearly shoplifted while we were at the convenience store.
Sighhhhhhhh.
"Lory you know that we didn't pay for that right?"
"I wanted to pay for it with my money"
I'm thinking at this point how long this conversation is going to be.
"Lory you know that what you did now was wrong - you just broke the big rules. You know that a policeman would have arrested us for that right?"
"REALLY?" Lory incredulously gasping.
"Yes - Really! Why did you take it after we had agreed that I would take you to a toy shop over the weekend?"
"I was trying to get your attention so that you could pay for it, but you were busy paying the lady and not giving me attention and then we left and the policeman didn't see us so do you still think he will arrest us?"
"Lory, you know that was very naughty. You know you don't take things without paying. Do you want us to end up in jail?"
"No mommy I don't want to end up in jail. I'm sorry. Can we maybe give it back to the policeman and then he won't arrest us?"
"We are already quite far away and I think he might still arrest us. If he arrests us then we won't be able to get home to the kitties and we won't see our people again"
The bargaining went round and round. At one point she even told me I should pepper spray the police man if he tries to arrest her for stealing the Paw Patrol thing. Even though I know it is totally absurd, I must admit that I did have a small chuckle at the defiant and irritated way she said it.
She is a bright kid and she knows right from wrong. She's been told what happens if you steal things and I have to take the blame for this particular incident as I clearly wasn't paying enough attention to see that she had taken it when she did.
She did eventually concede that she was very sorry for stealing and she won't do it again. She also agreed that she will take the punishment for doing it - she is going to do chores to earn enough money to pay for the Paw Patrol thing and then we are going to go back and she is going to pay for it and apologize to the store manager the next time we travel that way. She is going to do quite a few chores to earn R40. Daylight robbery by the store - daylight robbery by the kid, but right is right and wrong is wrong.
She's not happy about this at all but she will hopefully learn a very valuable lesson and not get us arrested in future. She's a really good kid (normally) and she travelled for 6 hours straight hardly complaining at all. She's going to complain endlessly when I start giving her the chores though. I'm almost certain of it. I think it'll drive the point home big time.
Parenting - you never know what each day will bring.
All images are my own
