)Many relationships today are subject to questioning. When I say relationships, I am referring to that of married couples as well as young adults who consider quitting because they were carried away by lust, not love.
Let me tell you about myself. I was also carried away by lust but its love that keeps me now. I am a mother of three.
It happened when I was about to finish my degree. I met a guy, and we mutually helped each other. One thing led to another, and I gave in. Although it’s a long story, I don’t regret meeting him. I finally understood that life will never give you a perfect person, but you both can build yourselves together if you are willing.
I remember going through pain and hell taking care of the kids alone. My parents disowned me because, according to African culture, I should have been legally married before having a child. But that wasn’t the case. I’m not sure any woman here would be resilient enough to endure the rejection I went through, but I never once regretted meeting the father of my kids.
When I look at relationships nowadays, some say it’s because of Gen Z or something like that. But I’m curious to know why couples who have been together for more than twenty solid years end up divorcing or why partners who recently started a relationship end it after just 3 months, 1 year, or even two weeks.
This has made me pen down some facts for any woman:
Understand that Life is never a Competition
When you see your friends getting married and you feel left out, do not rush into any marriage just to keep up. Not everyone is meant to be married, although marriage is a good thing. If you ignore this advice, you might end up with someone who is a scammer of love.
You may not notice this during the initial phase of your relationship, but probably three years later, you will find that you have exhausted your coping mechanisms. Wait for the right one. The right person for you may not be perfect, but with time, you can build each other up. Don’t compete!
Be Financially Independent before Finding Love
The first thing you need to sort out is becoming financially independent. It is essential for both partners to attain some level of financial freedom before getting into a relationship. While money doesn’t determine the happiness of a relationship, people do.
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However, as economic hardship arises, you will need to eat, stay healthy, and provide for your needs. When financial resources are lacking, you may end up depending on your partner for survival. Humans are naturally inclined to feel burdened when someone constantly depends on them. This is why some relationships break down due to financial issues.
Buy Relationship Books and Read
Believe me, I have read books too, and I have realized that what really matters to everyone is their happiness. The type of person you choose to be with will determine if you stay happy or not. Books provide insight into how to prioritize your happiness in a relationship.
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I recommend a book by Jose Carr, which you can find on Amazon titled, Marriage Principles for Newlyweds
If newlyweds can read such a book and practice its principles, they will seldom face issues in their homes. This is what I have observed. There is no perfect relationship, I am proof of that.
When the father of my kids left me while he was jobless, I experienced hardship. By "hell," I mean not being able to afford to feed the kids while they kept asking. I had to find ways to sustain them. But that's in the past now; my kids are thriving, even with their dad.
If there are no tough times in a relationship, it won't endure. The ability of both partners to resolve issues amicably is crucial for a lasting relationship.
I'm glad I found this community. I promise to share my experiences as a mother so that incoming mothers can learn from them. It's important to remember that not everything that glitters is gold. You might see a rich, handsome man and think it's a sign from God, but end up marrying him and finding no peace. How would you resolve that?
In my next post, I'll be addressing single ladies on when they should say yes to a man. Thank you for reading. I wish you all a good day.
