Hola hermosa comunidad de #motherhood. Siempre esperando que estén bien. Hoy me siento muy triste, de verdad es uno de esos días que quiero estar ahí sin hacer nada, por eso he mandado a mi hijo con su tía para que comparta con su pequeño primo porque es la última vez que los veremos, se irán del país el día de mañana. Para nadie es un secreto la situación económica que atraviesa el país, por eso mi hermana menor no dudó en tomar esta oportunidad de trabajo que le ofrecieron en otro país llevándose con ella a mi sobrino; el niño que me estrenó como madre. La historia detrás del porqué afirmo tal cosa es hermosa, por ella, el vínculo que tengo con mi pequeño sobrino es tan fuerte y especial. Tengo una amiga que dice que las despedidas son aun incluso que una muerte; al perder a alguien, con el tiempo te resignas a que no lo verás más nunca, en una despedida, el sentimiento de nostalgia es abrumador porque nunca sabrás cuando lo vas a volver a ver de nuevo, si pasara 1 año o tal vez 10, duele aun más.
Hello beautiful #motherhood community. Always hoping you are well. Today I feel very sad, it really is one of those days that I want to be there doing nothing, that's why I have sent my son with his aunt to share with his little cousin because it is the last time we will see them, they will leave the country tomorrow. For nobody is a secret the economic situation that the country is going through, that is why my younger sister did not hesitate to take this job opportunity offered to her in another country taking with her my nephew; the child who made my debut as a mother. The story behind why I state such a thing is beautiful, because of her, the bond I have with my little nephew is so strong and special. I have a friend who says that goodbyes are even more than a death; when you lose someone, with time you resign yourself to the fact that you will never see them again, in a goodbye, the feeling of nostalgia is overwhelming because you will never know when you will see them again, if it will be 1 year or maybe 10, it hurts even more.
Mi hermana y yo tenemos un vinculo hermoso. Somos contemporáneas, yo soy sólo 4 años mayor que ella. Durante nuestra infancia eramos ella y yo para todo, nuestra madre trabajaba todo el día, ambas aprendimos a ser independientes encargándonos de las cosas de la casa con 14 y 10 años. Siempre ha sido mi mejor amiga. Es una de las personas más importantes para mi. Al crecer, yo la llevaba siempre conmigo; a mi universidad, a las fiestas, a las reuniones, a donde sea siempre me acompañaba. Al crecer, ambas empezamos a formar nuestro propio círculo; ella tenía sus propios amigos, salía, mientras yo me casé y luego tuve mi propio apartamento. Las prioridades fueron cambiando. Nuestras vidas poco a poco tomaron rumbos diferentes.
My sister and I have a beautiful bond. We are contemporaries, I am only 4 years older than her. During our childhood it was her and me for everything, our mother worked all day long, we both learned to be independent by taking care of things around the house when we were 14 and 10 years old. She has always been my best friend. She is one of the most important people to me. Growing up, I always took her with me; to my college, to parties, to meetings, wherever I went, she always went with me. Growing up, we both started to form our own circle; she had her own friends, she went out, while I got married and then got my own apartment. Priorities changed. Our lives gradually took different directions.
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)Así fue, a tal punto que me enteraba sobre ella por simple mensajes de texto que mi madre o ella misma me mandaba. Trabajando por internet, se fue de viaje a Francia, siempre mantuvimos el contacto, me contaba todas esas experiencias maravillosas que tuvo vía whatsapp. A pesar de no vernos con tanta frecuencia, manteníamos conversaciones diarias por el teléfono, siempre sabiendo una de la otra mediante fotos y textos. Yo me sentía feliz por todo lo que había estado viviendo. Era joven, se había ido de viaje apenas a los 19 años; sus prioridades eran la de la mayoría de las niñas de su edad; verse bien, tener ropa, salir de fiesta y divertirse todo el tiempo.
So it was, to such an extent that I would find out about her by simple text messages that my mother or she herself would send me. Working online, she went on a trip to France, we always kept in touch, she would tell me all those wonderful experiences she had via whatsapp. Even though we didn't see each other that often, we had daily conversations on the phone, always knowing about each other through photos and texts. I was happy for all that she had been living. She was young, she had gone on a trip when she was just 19; her priorities were like most girls her age; looking good, having clothes, partying and having fun all the time.
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)De repente, un día, a 3 días de llegar a el país en el que pensaba establecerse recibí aquel mensaje; "Tengo 5 semanas de embarazo, no fue el viaje que me cayó mal". Sentí una emoción única que ninguna se le ha asemejado hasta ahora. Salte de emoción y le rogué que se devolviera al país porque yo quería estar al lado de mi primer sobrino; lloré, grite, me emocioné muchísimo. Había salido embarazada de su novio de aquí del país, quiso regresar para estar con todos y recibir el apoyo de su familia, sobretodo el mío y el de mi madre. No dudó en tomar el primer vuelo para abrazarnos y contemplar su pequeña pancita que crecía cada día, estábamos felices de que había tomado esa decisión. Honestamente, no la notaba feliz por ello, no estaba en sus planes ser madre. La entendí y siempre estuve para ella, ese niño ya era querido y esperado por todos.
Suddenly, one day, 3 days after arriving in the country where I was planning to settle down, I received that message; "I am 5 weeks pregnant, it was not the trip that fell on me wrong". I felt a unique emotion that none has ever resembled until now. I jumped with emotion and begged her to go back to the country because I wanted to be next to my first nephew; I cried, I screamed, I was so excited. She had gotten pregnant with her boyfriend from here in the country, she wanted to return to be with everyone and to receive the support of her family, especially mine and my mother's. She did not hesitate to take the first flight out of the country. She did not hesitate to take the first flight to hug us and contemplate her little belly that was growing every day, we were happy that she had made that decision. Honestly, I did not notice her happy about it, it was not in her plans to be a mother. I understood her and I was always there for her, that child was already loved and awaited by everyone.
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)Estuve con ella todo el tiempo, como eramos vecinas (ella decidió quedarse en casa de mi madre) siempre estuve al pendiente de que comiera sanamente; le preparaba jugos, ensaladas, de sus controles; la acompañaba cada vez que debía asistir al gineco-obstetra para ver al bebé en el ultrasonido. Parecía como si yo hubiese sido la que llevaba el embarazo, fue una emoción única. Luego de unos meses, llegó el gran día. Lo atesoro en mi mente como si hubiese sido ayer; vino por mi una tarde con dolores de parto, sus contracciones eran seguidas, cada 10min y luego cada 5min, al final cada 2min. Llegamos al hospital, fue muy bien atendida. Seguimos en comunicación por mensajes de texto, recuerdo que le dije que la amaba que fuera fuerte. Sólo 2 horas después nació el niño que me dio el titulo de tía: Zaid Elias.
I was with her all the time, as we were neighbors (she decided to stay at my mother's house) I always made sure she ate healthy; I prepared her juices, salads, her check-ups; I accompanied her every time she had to go to the OB/GYN to see the baby in the ultrasound. It seemed as if I had been the one carrying the pregnancy, it was a unique emotion. After a few months, the big day came. I treasure it in my mind as if it was yesterday; she came for me one afternoon with labor pains, her contractions were in a row, every 10min and then every 5min, finally every 2min. We arrived at the hospital, she was very well taken care of. We kept in communication by text messages, I remember I told her that I loved her to be strong. Only 2 hours later the baby boy who gave me the title of aunt was born: Zaid Elias.
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)Cuando lo tuve en mis brazos por primera vez lloré de la emoción, tan pequeño, hermoso e indefenso. Quise hacerme cargo de él; cambiarle los pañales, sacarle los gases, dormirlo, hasta el punto que su madre sólo lo atendía a la hora de amamantarlo, fue lo único que por obvias razones, no pude hacer. Me enamoré de ese pequeño. Diariamente iba a verlo en cuanto me desocupaba, hasta la noche que se hacia la hora de dormir. Así fue creciendo poco a poco. Le di su primera comida, su carita de emoción al comer me llenaba el alma. Lo vi gatear, lo vi escalar, dar sus primeros pasos, le celebré su cumpleaños. Amaba estar tan involucrada en la vida de ese pequeño bebé. Lo disfrutaba, aun no tenía hijos, mi tiempo fue todo para él.
When I held him in my arms for the first time I cried with emotion, so small, beautiful and helpless. I wanted to take care of him; change his diapers, take out his gas, put him to sleep, to the point that his mother only took care of him when it was time to breastfeed him, was the only thing that for obvious reasons, I could not do. I fell in love with that little boy. I went to see him every day as soon as I was free, until it was time to go to bed at night. And so he grew little by little. I gave him his first meal, his excited face when he ate filled my soul. I watched him crawl, I watched him climb, I watched him take his first steps, I celebrated his birthday. I loved being so involved in that little baby's life. I enjoyed him, I didn't have children yet, my time was all for him.
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)Me duele esta despedida, es como si me alejaran de mi propio hijo... Es un dolor inexplicable, la incertidumbre de no saber cuando lo volveré a ver me hace sentir la más profunda de las tristezas, saber que mi hijo no crecerá con su primo al igual que yo crecí con mi hermana, me parte el corazón. Al mismo tiempo, debo ser fuerte. Sé que su partida será lo mejor para ambos; este país no le ofrecerá las oportunidades que esta a punto de obtener en otro. Se que su ausencia valdrá la pena por su futuro, su educación. Debo seguir fuerte, aunque esté muriendo por dentro. Sólo me consuela el hecho de que será por un bien. No verlos, sin saber hasta cuando, me hace sentir como si una parte de mi se durmió.
This goodbye hurts me, it is as if I were being taken away from my own son.... It is an inexplicable pain, the uncertainty of not knowing when I will see him again makes me feel the deepest sadness, knowing that my son will not grow up with his cousin as I grew up with my sister, it breaks my heart. At the same time, I must be strong. I know that his departure will be the best thing for both of us; this country will not offer him the opportunities he is about to get in another. I know that her absence will be worth it for her future, her education. I must remain strong, even if I am dying inside. I am comforted only by the fact that it will be for the best. Not seeing them, not knowing until when, makes me feel as if a part of me went to sleep.
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)la última noche juntos
Last night together
If you made it this far, thank you very much for reading me!
El texto es 100% real y de mi autoria. Describo la tristeza que siento por el viaje de mi hermana y mi pequeño sobrino.
The text is 100% real and of my authorship. I describe the sadness I feel about my sister and my little nephew's trip.
Las imágenes son de mi autoria. Algunas fueron tomadas de mis redes sociales, otras las capturé una noche antes del viaje como recuerdo de la ultima vez que los veo.
The images are my own. Some were taken from my social networks, others I captured one night before the trip for creating memories of the last time I see them.
Para la traduccion usé DeepL
For the translation I used the translator DeepL
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