CIVIL WAR
OK. So...
This movie begins with the premise that California, Florida and Texas have seceded and California and Texas have united to fight against the United States government, currently ruled by a 3rd term President even dumber than Joe Biden. Florida has decided to go it alone.
So, yeah, Action-Comedy.
We see this play out throught he eyes of a group of Journalists who seem to care only about "getting the story". Kirsten Dunst plays the grizzled Journalist.
Wagner Moura plays Pedro Pascal
Cailee Spaeny plays generic clueless young girl. During the Movie, only 3 things upset the Journalists.
- Learning that the US Surrendered before they could get to DC to interview the President.
- Learning that a Press Badge and their sense of entitlement doesn't render them immune from violence.
- Coming across an entire town that, despite all press efforts, doesn't give a flying fuck about the war and is simply getting on with their lives.
The Movie moves along with the Journalists constantly getting in the way of soldiers, militants and other combatants as they attempt to get images of them fighting, dying and blowing shit up. Literally half of the actions of any individual in active combat within 25 feet of a journalist is pulling them out of harm's way. They do nothing but constantly get in the way and it's not long before you start rooting for one of them to get shot. Luckily, we are rewarded with that satisfaction as a young journalist stands in the middle of an indoor firefight to get the perfect shot with her 35mm FILM CAMERA (for fuck's sake) and the older journalist pushes her to the ground, getting shot in the proces,s while the young journalist snaps photographs of the older journalist getting killed.
The remaining journalists continue on without so much as a nod to the death of their fellow to pause the execution of the President long enough to ask him for a quote.
President, lying on the ground with soldiers pointing guns at him.
Reporter: "Stop! Mr. President. I need a Quote"
President: "Don't let them kill me!"
Reporter: "That'll do."
Soldiers:
Seriously.
Yeah. I'm not sure what this movie was trying to say. The Journalists are unlikeable, the plot is lame and the premise is laughable. In fact, this is exactly the sort of Civil War that we should all look forward to. Texas kicking ass all the way to DC, while Journalists die and the rest of the nation ignores it. Oh, and don't fuck around in rural America because some random racist dude might kill you.
For those of you thinking about seeing this travesty, you have been warned.