Today has been really awful. I can't positive-talk my way around this one, trust me I have tried. I have tried telling myself that I am grateful about today but really, what about menstrual periods is great to be grateful for? I may sound like a broken record when I say that being a woman is so difficult but it really is. Having to exist in a body that moves like it was specifically designed to harm you at every chance is no fun.
I didn't set out to have such a bloody day today as I am usually very prepared for this stuff but, I didn't see this one coming. My hormones have been really imbalanced, my whole circle got thrown off the roof and aside all the Juices and sugars I consumed on Christmas/New Years, there wasn't any significant change in my diet that could have caused this to happen.
Anyways, I didn't get my period for well over Twenty days and just yesterday I made an appointment to see a Gynae by Friday then I wake up this morning and the Reddingtons have made a show. I am still going to go though, I think I might need a to do a hormonal profiling and get some other tests done.
So, this is like a happy-sad situation for me. I happy to finally get the damned period but I am really sad about the cramps and emotional wreckage too.
If I worked a regular 9-5, I would definitely call in sick today but I can't do that because I am self employed. Not only am I self employed, I am also an avid Airdrop farmer which means my routine is very important to me. I can't just not show up because that would mean undoing streaks that I have put together brick by brick for months.
I know this sucks but what to do. I would have totally loved to just bed rot, eat junk, drink a large jug of milkshake and continue to binge Parenthood on Netflix, but I can't do that because I have to do all the things I wrote about loving about my work yesterday. Another thing that would have totally made sense would be cuddling and snuggling with some lucky human but even that is a luxury.
Oh well, happy to be alive.
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