Friendship. I'm talking about the natural non romantic attraction between people who just genuinely like each other. I haven't really made many friends in my lifetime, and the overwhelming majority were in high school and college. Yet the pull of friendships, the comfort of shared experiences, and the energy that comes from being around others are things I crave more than usual, until I dont.
Balancing these two opposing needs feels like walking a tightrope. On one hand, I cherish the time I spend with friends and loved ones. My Father's passing particularly taught me just how important family and friends are. The laughter, the deep conversations, the simple joy of just being around people I care about all adds a richness to life that I don’t want to miss out on. These moments give me a sense of connection and belonging, which is incredibly important to me.
But then there’s the other side of me, the part that knows how essential alone time is for my productivity and wellbeing. I’ve realized that I need quiet moments to think, plan, and naturally just be goofy. I'm quite goofy in real life, but it's mostly a happy, harmless kind of goof. It’s in these moments of solitude that I can dive deep into my thoughts, work on my projects, and recharge my mental and emotional batteries. Without this time, I start to feel overwhelmed, like I’m being pulled in too many directions at once.
Maybe that's why I've struggled to maintain consistency in many areas of my life over the last two months or so. Little things like my Fitness, friendships and even Hive have taken quite a beatung. There are days when I feel torn between the desire to reach out and connect with others and the need to withdraw and focus on my own world. It’s not always easy to find that perfect balance, and I’ve had to learn to be gentle with myself when I can’t, which unfortunately is more often than nought.
I’m beginning to understand that both needs are valid and important. Social interactions are not just a luxury; they’re a necessity for emotional health. At the same time, alone time is crucial for clarity and personal growth. It’s the space where I can be my most authentic self, free from distractions, and fully in tune with my own thoughts and feelings.
In this stage of my life, I’m embracing the fact that I can be both a social being and someone who needs solitude. It’s a balancing act, for sure, but one that’s teaching me a lot about who I am and what I need to feel fulfilled.
