It's Christmas, and @lasseehlers has been begging for someone to write about LasseCash. I don't really want to, but I figured I could ask ChatGPT to make something special for @lasseehlers. It’s not great, and it didn’t quite match what I was imagining when I wrote the prompt—especially since Lasse can never admit to being wrong or learning from experience. Still, if a human made some improvements, this could potentially be the biggest hit since Everybody Hates Ned Flanders.
Inspired by @themarkymark getting spammed with LasseCash. Maybe @lasseehlers doesn't print out keys for wallets full of shitcoins as gifts, but that's at least a non-zero probability.
Prompt:
I need you to generate lyrics for a Christmas song. The song is about a man named Lasse and his family at Christmas time. Instead of buying presents for his family he buys cryptocurrency scam tokens and gives them to his family. The tokens are LasseCash, XEN, HEX, PulseChain, and Titan X. His family hates getting the scam tokens and beg for real presents. When Lasse out of touch reality promises they pump to unrealistic percentages the family then says why not give us Bitcoin or even Dogecoin. The song ends with the family dumping the scam tokens on the market so they can buy real legitimate cryptocurrency.
(To the tune of a traditional Christmas melody)
Verse 1
Oh, Lasse had a plan for Christmas cheer,
He'd bring the family joy this year.
No toys or gadgets, no fancy attire,
Just crypto tokens to inspire.
"LasseCash will soar!" he cried,
"PulseChain's the wave, so jump inside!"
But his family groaned, "Oh, not again,
We just wanted gifts, not XEN!"
Chorus
Oh, Lasse, Lasse, can’t you see?
We don’t want your crypto spree.
No HEX, no Titan X, please, no more pain,
Give us Bitcoin or Dogecoin instead this year again.
Verse 2
Around the tree, the tokens lay,
With promises of riches one fine day.
"Hold tight," Lasse said, "They’ll pump real soon,
To the moon, to the stars, past the moon!"
But the family sighed, "Lasse, please,
We'd rather have gifts like books or cheese.
Your scams won't pump, they're just too wild,
Think of your spouse and your dear child!"
Chorus
Oh, Lasse, Lasse, can’t you see?
We don’t want your crypto spree.
No HEX, no Titan X, please, no more pain,
Give us Bitcoin or Dogecoin instead this year again.
Bridge
Then one bright morning, the family agreed,
"We’ll sell these tokens, fulfill our needs."
On the market, they dumped Lasse's stash,
For Bitcoin and Doge, they made some cash.
And when Lasse saw, he scratched his head,
"My dreams of wealth, are they all dead?"
The family laughed, "Oh, Lasse dear,
Real gifts and love bring Christmas cheer!"
Final Chorus
Oh, Lasse, Lasse, now you see,
It’s not about the tokens or the spree.
No HEX, no Titan X, no more insane,
This year, it's Bitcoin and Dogecoin again.
Outro
Now Christmas is brighter, with laughter and joy,
No more crypto scams to annoy.
Lasse’s learned, gifts from the heart,
Are the best way to make a new start.
Image Source: Stable Diffusion
