I've always prided myself as a minimalist, at 26 I still didn't see it as a problem living with my aunt. She's the closest relative I had, even if my now deceased parents were estranged. It's probably because I partially relied on her for OTC treatments whenever I fell ill. However, living with her taught me to spend within a particular range.
At 22 I was still asking her to buy me clothes from the market, even at 25, she could control the number of female visitors I could bring in. She claimed it was because women are naturally maximalists, exuberant and when I begin to bring them in numbers, I'll increase the number of birthday gifts I'll buy, I'll need to buy more airtime, I'll have to spend some extra dollar on haircut, clothes, and deodorants.
She wasn't wrong. When I was 22, looking good was serious business
I could cut my hair once a week, and I knew ladies who spend ridiculous figures to get their hair done. My girlfriend then was attracted to pretty things and I had to keep up with appearances or risk losing her, since this was a burden, I didn't see the need to relieve myself of that burden.
Of course, her family was rich and lived in a big house. I still gave her money from my income then, even if she already had all the money it is to have. I didn't tell my aunt because she wouldn't consent to give a rich girl money when I was barely surviving. She (my aunt) controlled her I spent my salary back then, there was always a portion I had to deposit in my bank account, and there was a percentage I kept for food and clothing.
The way it was, there wasn't any room for the extravaganza. But the thing is, I didn't exactly tell her how much I earned, but I still spent the portion I never tell her about on my girlfriend, on clothes, and on, of course, the ridiculous nature of keeping a sweet haircut. So if I was going to be their son-in-law (my girlfriend) then I had to look average and not poor or hungry as I was.
I didn't ask about her background before falling in love with her, but not being acquainted with that knowledge ruined me. The thing is, I was always spending my extra income with her because I was simply happy to be with her. It wasn't like she didn't buy me gifts, she did, but I could remember shopping for shoes for her. Whenever I looked back, I didn't feel I was a fool, I only thought that I was raised by an extremely frugal woman (my aunt) but she didn't exactly know I lived an extravagant life with my salary.
She probably still feels I haven't misspent any cent I earned and she was proud of this.... Who I became. It wasn't like I spent this money on myself, If I did she could have noticed. For example, she raised an eyebrow I bought a silver wristwatch. (Not completely silver, but maybe 0.1% silver) she would prefer I buy a leather wristwatch since I was only using it to check the time and not going for a modeling gig.
Everything I spent on had to serve a purpose and be cheap as well as serve its value but because she was better at discerning I majorly told gave her some part of my earnings to buy me clothes. But the part of my salary that she didn't know about was spent ostentatiously. I think I learned those values, but it was compromised because I had to live up to my girlfriend's standards.
The Uneasy Standard
Her mother was wealthy and owned houses, she easily attracted rich kids of her age, and this was hurting to me. Sometimes I wished she was poor so we could be both bottom class. But I couldn't teach her to live minimally like me. Instead, I was forced to live like her to the detriment of my income. However, at 22, one would think I could have been wiser, but at that age, most people my age were misguided.
Kids whose parents were rich aggrandized the status of their parents, instead of living low key most kids would live big, throw parties and wear expensive shoes. This wasn't me. I wore my clothes responsibly, washed them, used deodorants, and made sure to take my multivitamins and I came out quite differently. But my aunt redefined minimalism, and she made sure I looked affordably attractive where others were looking expensively overrated. Since I was always angry she did that, she threatened to throw me out if I didn't succumb.
These days I don't think some people want to appear expensive.
Why?
The inflated situation of the country makes people run away from unnecessary discrepancies when I was 22, the value of the Nigerian naira to the dollar was decent and one could earn and afford to still live big if they want. It's more expensive to do almost everything at the moment and even people who didn't have a disciplined lifestyle are not being forced to adapt.
In reality, I was saddened to be raised the way I was, but I came from humble beginnings and was fortunate to be raised by the right people. My aunt allowed me to display some exuberances, but discipline always prevailed at the end of the day. Today, I can say I've lived that life of minimalism and honestly it's been a lesson, I don't know if you can relate.
Interested in some more of my works?
The Intrinsic Propensity To Spend Money
Poverty: The Unwillingness To Spend?
A Scenic Bathroom Photoshoot
The Importance Of Having A Contingency Money Plan
Translational Value; What Is Your Worth?
Using Crypto As A Means Of Transferring Will
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