It's been three months since my mom died and same three months ago, my younger brother had a fatal accident that nearly claimed his life, fast-forwards to today, I've lost two grandparents, lost my emergency funds, and am currently sick with peptic ulcer. The highlight of this is that I've had to halt the business I'm trying to build because I have no money to run it, the emergency funds have gone into taking care of the crazy expenses and it's safe to say, I have no money in real-time anymore. The funny thing about this situation is that I might have to leave hive in January or February to take care of these family situations.
After five long years, it feels like foreclosure
The most concerning thing is that my health issues are getting really concerning, and these family issues are not according to me enough time to deal with it. It's been physically and financially demanding and at this juncture, it's difficult to convince these family conjecture that I'm sick and I'll need time to heal physically and financially without passing off the vibes that one is lazy and irresponsible. It's difficult to tell your story when there's a weight of financial and physical expectations. These people have shown up commitment and they've been there when I lost my both parents, but the deaths have been too much lately, it's not even according me time to psychologically heal before I began to highlight the financial decisions I need to make to raise money to be up and doing again.
But, it's like killing the golden goose over and over again
As for crypto, I think the bear market happened at the wrong time when things began to happen to me
....... I remember selling off a chunk of HBD to take care of these emergencies last November, but they sufficed again so I dipped my finger into the funds I could have used to start a real-time business immediately after the bear market hits, but it's not over. One of the reasons why I stopped working five years ago was because my body kept crashing under severe working conditions, but after five years I saved enough money to start a business that doesn't require me to physically burn any vital organs, but sadly, this money has gone because, in one year, I've lost three people, the fourth person which was my brother survived but was in the ICU for a long while, these things have majorly made me ignore my health situations.
Money, sweat and efforts are never enough
While it feels illogical, these situations require money to take care of and in over a year I've spent over $4000 trying to sort out these family commitments, I thought they finally ended after my brother's accident, but two people are now dead, it signals that it's far from over, my paternal grandmother is also fatally sick too, hosting burials costs a lot of money, I've hosted two already and it's wiped out my emergency funds, now a third burial is in the offing and a prospect of the fourth one is there, but away from these Commitments, I just need a break to sort out my health and finances, but anytime I try, someone dies and creates a huge setback.
It's illogical, so unpassable
Now I cannot even take the time to begin to recover, because now I'll have to be a way to plan burials, these commitments aren't passable, and the family structure is so porous that responsibilities heavily fall on the younger generations. The older generation didn't set up a workable system, I'd say because most of them were largely ignorant, unexposed, and uneducated, they couldn't build wealth or own businesses that they could pass on as legacies, so it left their younger generations with the crazy job of having to fix their shit. It's why I've had to be fixing shit for such a long time now, it makes it difficult to concentrate and run my life.
The Privilege of being "Privileged"
It's even more difficult because I've got this very fragile system that crashes under pressure, but it's some of the things a young man who was not born privileged has to go through. I wouldn't call it an African thing. Most of my peers have gone very far in life and since I'm not really making any comparisons, it's hard not to notice the unfairness you're fighting because you're in a family system that creates limitations all around you, it feels like fighting a losing game. It's like being born to take care of externalities while suffering undevelopment and growth when others are making headways in life.
It's a life of bankruptcy
I don't know if I'll be leaving hive temporarily in February, but it's gotten to that point where it becomes inevitable. I'm hoping to make some arrangements especially because I hoping to tell these people that I am crashing and I'll need time to recuperate and heal from this physical health and financial mess. My aim has always been to build a life of financial freedom that inevitably prepares one to be able to take on huge financial responsibilities without the fear of foreclosure because I understand that I have legions of responsibilities. But they're coming too early when I'm struggling to stay healthy and establish myself.
Interested in some more of my works?
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