Have you ever felt like everybody was watching you? I’ve felt it too, and trust me, it’s not a nice feeling
The Small Plate of Rice Story
One day, I walked into Mama Tayo’s Buka, a place not far from my street. I didn’t have much money, so I ordered a small plate of jollof rice with just one piece of meat.
As I carried my plate to my seat, I started feeling uncomfortable. “Ah, see this small food,” I thought. I felt like people were staring at me.
"Look at that guy, is he broke?" I imagined someone whispering. It was all in my imagination.
But when I looked around, nobody even glanced at me. The man beside me was busy shouting into his phone, “Baba, I say send the money now!”
The woman in the corner was focused on her amala and ewedu, minding her business.
The waiter, Tunde, was just clearing tables, humming a song and not even looking in my direction.
At that moment, I laughed at myself. Why was I so worried about what other people thought?
The Spotlight That Doesn’t Exist
I remembered the experience I had when I started going to the gym. I was new, and I didn’t know how to use the machines properly. As I tried to lift weights, I felt like everyone in the gym was watching me, judging my bad form.
Maybe they think I look foolish.
Maybe I’m doing it all wrong.
But the truth is, nobody cared.
The guy lifting heavy weights didn’t even notice me.
The lady running on the treadmill was focused on her own pace.
The trainer was busy helping someone else.
I realized that the “spotlight” I felt was all in my head.
Stop Overthinking—People Are Busy
Let me tell you something: people have their own lives. They are thinking about their own problems—how to pay their rent, what to cook for their kids, or how to finish their work for the day.
Nobody has the time to watch your every move. If you make a mistake, they might notice for a few seconds, but they’ll forget quickly.
One day, on my way back from the office, I missed my stop while riding a keke napep (tricycle) because I was so tired and dozed off for a few minutes. By the time I realized, I shouted, “O wa o! O wa o!” The driver hit the brakes hard, stopping awkwardly in the middle of the road.
**
I could feel my face burning with embarrassment. I thought everyone would laugh at me.**
But the woman sitting beside me just adjusted her gele and mumbled, “Driver, abeg hurry now!”
The other passengers didn’t even blink. They were more focused on getting to their destinations.
The driver grumbled, “Next time, oga, open your mouth early o.”
I paid my fare, got down, and continued my day. Nobody cared.
What You Should Learn
You need to stop worrying about what other people think. Most people are not watching you, and even if they notice something you do, they will forget it quickly.
If you order the wrong meal at a restaurant, laugh it off and enjoy it anyway.
If you wear mismatched shoes in public, smile and keep walking confidently.
If you’re new at something—like going to the gym or starting a job—focus on learning, not on who might be watching you.
Focus on Yourself
When I stopped overthinking and focused on myself, my life got better. I stopped worrying about what people would say, and I started improving myself.
I worked harder.
I made mistakes and learned from them.
I became more confident.
You can do the same. Wake up every day and focus on becoming 1% better.
Work on your goals.
Learn something new.
Be bold enough to try, even if you’re afraid to fail.
People Have Their Own Problems
Think about this: if you saw someone trip and fall on the road, you might notice and even help them, but would you think about it all day? No. You’d forget and move on with your life. That’s exactly what happens when you make mistakes. People might notice for a moment, but they’ll go back to their own lives.
Stop letting the fear of judgment control you. It’s okay to fail. It’s okay to look silly sometimes. What matters is that you learn and become better.
Final Words
At the end of the day, nobody really cares about your mistakes. So stop overthinking. Stop worrying about people who are not thinking about you.
Focus on yourself. Improve yourself. Learn from your mistakes.
When you stop caring about what others think, you’ll feel free. You’ll grow, you’ll be happy, and you’ll become the best version of yourself
It’s just you against you—so focus on becoming better every single day.
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