It is always hard. I am saying this because I have tried advicing based on this before and I have gotten to know that some people really need to go through that shit again and again because giving advice to them to leave their abusive relationship sometimes is a big waste of time.
The truth is that most people don't learn because things like this are seen on the internet. Thank goodness for technology! Things that happened to either the abuser or the victim ends up gaining the spotlight of news headlines and I know that people who are in the same both of abuse sees this but, they just believe they can work things out or maybe they are in it for financial benefit or sexual benefit. I can never understand humans.
There is something about me. I don't like and will never like relationship abusers whether it is a man or woman. Those kinds of people irk me so badly that I just wish I had the power to take them off the earth's surface.
When I was in a higher institution, I had a friend who was like a little sister to me. I never knew she was in an abusive relationship, but the moment I found out, I sat her down and spoke to her because of a series of events I have seen happen to the abuse victims firsthand. But that didn't make her stop. It was then I got to truly believe the quote;
You can never advise people in love.
Long story short, she got married to the guy, and whatever ended up happening to her is none of my business because I knew that I really gave my best to help her. Just like the saying, "You can take a donkey to the stream, but you can't force it to drink water from the stream."
Let's drop the donkey and make use of a goat in this context
However, if I am to give advice to someone in an abusive relationship based on things I have seen so far, I'll need to understand why that person is in that sort of relationship in the first place to be able to give my advice based on that.
But,generally speaking, my first advice to the person would be;
Self-Love and reflection.
I believe someone who loves themselves won't want anything that will hurt them. When there's self-love, the person won't take their life for granted because either physical or emotional abuse is not good for the body and soul.
If the person can practice self-love and reflect on things they are going through, maybe they won't be a goat and realize that their lives matter.
Deserve better.
If self-love is accomplished, the next thing is to remind the person that they deserve better and shouldn't settle for less. I'll make them understand that there's someone out there for them. Someone who will really cherish and care for them like the queen or king that they are.
Other victims
This is another way to make the person understand that there are others like them. Those who left and the sort of breakthrough they are experiencing and those who stayed and either the six feet below others who are in a mental asylum or got life imprisonment for killing their abusers.
For one, I know no one deserves to be in an abusive relationship. If we are to go way back, we'd realize it is the parents or even the society that may have brought upon the presence of an abuser or, let's just say, life happens.
This is why I have chosen these 3 ways to help anyone out there who are in an abusive relationship so that when they read, they'd also practice and get to understand that they deserve a peaceful and happy life and thus, should work toward achieving that. I know it won't be easy because they may want to go back, and this is where some of their hobbies come in and maybe music to go. Well, let's start with this song from "Empire" and let's see.
This is my response to Weekend-Engagement Concept by @galenkp. You can join in as well following the set rules.
Images used are mine
Still yours truly,
Balikis.
Thanks for reading and listening.
Peace be unto those who crave it and more to those who chase it away.
