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If we could order kids to come out the way we wish, I would definitely want to have a child with certain traits. Being a woman, one can't overlook the risks that come with pregnancy, childbirth, and the fact that there is no guarantee of having a healthy bouncing baby. This is why I see children as a blessing and mothers to be superhuman beings in being able to go through that phase in life.
While having a child is partly a decision involving two people, there is an instant where kids had to have only one parent because the father bailed out or the mom did not make it during childbirth. This alone can also create a certain environment that the kid did not consent to. As much as one can swear by their life to protect their child, there is also a reality that we cannot overlook. We live in a world where there is also uncertainty and a lot of things are beyond our control. There is no guarantee that a child will turn out to be a blessing that nature would want them to be.
We also cannot overlook that our fertility will be the main determining factor whether we will have a child or not. There is also a possibility of losing a child to an accident, crime, or illness. I think the cry of parents who just lost a child after being emotionally invested is more painful than the cry of barren parents. There is no 100% guarantee that as a parent, you will be able to give your child maximum protection or to plant a seed that is not a danger to another man/woman's seed.
As a parent, I would also want to be financially ready to raise a child. Having to figure out things out when the child is born is not ideal. Hence I think to have a child one needs to have thought through three things, acceptance of whatever the outcome is, being in a position to protect the child, and offering security.
Acceptance
This among others, is the reason why having a child should be something that one chose to do without much expectation of how the child would be. One has to be open-minded that there is a possibility of giving birth to a child with a disability such as not fully developed limbs, blindness, deaf, or a wheelchair-bound child to mention a few. There are also challenges in giving birth to kids with medical conditions such as Autism, ADHD, and Epilepsy and few have given birth to kids who suffered brain damage during birth due to lack of oxygen. So the decision to have a child needs one to be prepared to accept what the universe may give them.
Protection
Kids can suffer a lot of things from bullying, being predators to pedophiles, or being a danger to themselves. The sad part is it's not just a girl child but also boys are vulnerable. And if I have to be a mother one day, my worst fear is having my child die in silence or to have failed to protect my child. Looking at my life right now, if I had to have a child I know I won't always be physically there for that child, I would have to trust strangers from kindergarten, school teachers, and nannies who will also be spending more time with my child.
That alone makes me anxious that if anything has to happen to my child, I would partly carry the guilt of being the one who brought this child into the world. The guilt of not being there to protect them. The cry of mothers who had also lost their children to abduction, and flyers of missing children also make me think twice about having a child.
Security
In this day and age, it is surely every parent's dream not to have a below-average child. Some of this we can improve by taking the child to better schools and engaging them in activities that might identify their talents. But we can't overlook the fact that there is a high possibility of kids being naturally slow.
It must be frustrating for a parent to be expected to admit that their child is slow by psychologists. As a parent, I would want my child to be able to develop skills that would help them to thrive in the world. Also, I would not want to have a child who ends up being a provider for his/her siblings because I as a parent could not have enough to cater for all of them. So I feel pressure to provide financial security for my child until they are 21.
If one could choose the seed of their womb
I wouldn't want to rob someone of a chance to have the coolest mom ever and the world a chance to have new inventors or ideas. So if I could choose my seed, I would definitely look forward to having a child. Unfortunately, that is not the case. Some have birthed the most wanted criminals, pedophiles, murderers, and corrupt leaders to name a few. So when I think of having a child one day, I also ask myself if my seed is going to add value to the world or cause Misery to someone else child.
In a nutshell, being a parent also comes with a sense of bravery and being open-minded. Maybe one day I will be willing to take a chance and count on the probability of giving birth to the next president, someone who may find the solution to climate change or cue chronic diseases. Surely this is a chance I wouldn't want to miss.
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