Welcome to my blog friends
The weekend was a very stressful one for me as I had to engage in alot of tasks both on Saturday and Sunday. Saturday was the worst, I even came back home at night around few minutes to 12am. Anyway I appreciate @galenkp for still organizing this contest and I pray it never ends.
Compelling reason
Compelling reason is the topic I feel is the best among all the topics this week that's why I chose to post about it and have something to also say about it, based on my experience in life.
Back then in my second year in senior high school I was happy at all, I saw that I was always sad I didn't even noticed when all these started. My parents aren't wealthy and they are not poor, they are middle-class. My parents were telling me to use the little money I have to buy snacks in school and to use as transport fare while going to school and coming back home.
I do have 3 siblings, a brother with two sisters. Their schools are close to our house but is not very close, so they normally trek to school. My school is very very far from home and I suffered because I began to trek to and from school. My parents stopped giving me transport fare and snacks money to buy what I will eat, they were only giving snacks money to my younger siblings.
I was actually using my money to take care of my everyday bills concerning school, which is my transport fare and snacks money. As soon as my savings were finished, my parents still haven't gotten enough money yet, I suffered. Sometimes my parents will tell me not to go to school since I have no transport fare and something to eat in school.
I was so sad, I told them I will go and they said is my business. I trekked both under the rain and sun to school and I was so stressed out. For me to survive in school, I had to beg my classmates for snacks and they normally share with me. They started insulting me as soon as they discovered I begged to much. That didn't stop them from giving me but I became more ashamed to beg and I reduced the rate of begging. Most times I will stay in school for 9 hours without eating and I will still trek back home with an empty stomach.
Suicide began to ring in my little mind, I wanted to die and leave this wicked world. For the first time in my life I was 95% depressed, my parents weren't aware of this, I began to think to much, I was also listening to sad songs by juice wrld and other American musicians who sing sad songs alot. Each time I listen to their songs in the night, I cry for 2 hours, wishing my parents had enough money and wishing that I had a good girlfriend that will be able to support me during those hard times.
I wasn't doing well in school anymore although I wasn't a failure, I was having average scores because I didn't joke with my studies but because of the high rate of depression in me, I wasn't among the top 7 students in class. Some of my friends were there to encourage and support me but it wasn't enough and I had to endure the insults I received everyday in school, the way I learn in class with an empty stomach and the way I trek home after getting stressed out in school. I actually thought I will die before I set a date to kill myself.
I made this through because of the grace of God, without him blessed and talented boy would have been dead. God saved my life that was why I made it through, I stopped the thoughts of depression in my life, believing that I will make it one day and prove to my classmates that the movies they watch where the poor finally becomes rich after many years, is real and they will see it live (life).
My compelling reasons to work through my difficulties was my family and born-talents. I didn't want my parents to lose their first child who they have spent money on since my birth, I don't want those money to be wasted. I didn't also want my parents to run around looking for money to bury me. I also reasoned that if I die, my father might suffer from the shock and die as well because am not the only one thinking, he's also thinking because he isn't happy as his family is suffering.
I said to myself that if my father can survive this family issues why can't I that's still small suffered and does it mean when it happens to me when I have my own family in the future I will just kill myself and abandon my wife and children to suffer alone. I saw those hard times as times to get prepared and strong for what's in stock for my upcoming family and how I can survive it.
Finally I got motivated that everything will be ok someday. I also never wanted to waste my writing talent by dieing like that, it can be used to help others in the society. I became cheerful in my last year in high school, I was always consoling myself.
I finally graduated from high school and the stress on my parents head was no longer there because paying of my school fees was over and giving me transport fare and snacks money was also over. I appreciated God for every thing and I always cry each time I remember those days. I pray God blesses my family and other families like mine fruitfully in Jesus name, amen. Bye friends.