There is a saying in our Nigerian Pidgin language that "dem no dey advice person wey dey in love".This means that it's a waste of time to advise someone in love because they will end up doing what is in their heart. This is one of the reasons why some people prefer to keep mum about the matter of people in abusive relationships.
It's crazy that these people constantly see the red flags from their partners but always choose to ignore probably due to what they gain from their partner. But I would say that no amount of money is worth you to be "beated on".
Abuse comes in different forms. Physical, emotional and more. It also happens to both genders in their relationships but I believe it happens more to women especially women I see around. It's worse for married couples because some women wants to maintain the Married Woman Status and can stay in any form of abuse.
Men are stereotyped to be strong and not be a "simp", so you barely see a man complaining or reporting an abusive relationship all so they could avoid being mocked. I have witnessed how one lady toyed with my cousin's emotions many years back.
He loved the lady that in fact I can't even begin to understand the name I can give to that type of love. He is not obsessed with her, he just loves this girl and contrary to the belief that men are pros in the art of womanizing and cheating, my cousin is a one-woman kind of man but this lady doesn't care. The manipulations, disrespect and humiliation is just out of this world.
I noticed all these signs because this lady stays in my area which makes him come around us constantly. She is around my age while he is about 5 years older. Back then, as much as I felt the urge to gauge her eyes out for making my cousin go through all this abuse, I figured he is the one I needed to talk to. I sat him down and told him that "love shouldn't be that hard, it is a beautiful thing that should be shared with someone who cherishes it."
I told him to think through all the time they have been together and tell me one thing the lady has done to improve his life or impact his life positively. He wasn't able to say one thing. I talked to him at length and told him to choose happiness and not just "physical features". I told him to let the lady go and he will find someone else who will treat him better.
At first it seems like my advice went with the winds because he claimed he can't let her go because of all he has spent on her. I told him it would be bad to keep spending on her and worse to end up marrying her. I told him to take time to reflect on what I said and he promised to do that.
What finally broke the camel's back was on her birthday. I think she must have told him not to bother coming to just send money to her but he decided to surprise her by coming to the small party she organized.
According to my cousin, immediately his "woman" sighted him, she quickly rushed down to the entrance to avoid him coming into the venue. She started shouting at him to leave that the D.J had to stop the music and everyone was staring at them. He said he has never felt that humiliation in his entire life (You mean that one is higher than the one she has been giving you? Wow! 😃😃😃)
He called off the relationship after that day even when she came around apologizing, he told her that it is over. Trust me I was very happy he finally let her go.
Nothing good comes out of staying in an abusive relationship. Life is too short to not choose happiness.
Image used is mine.
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