In the 80s and 90s, discussing sex between African parents and their children was taboo. I recall my mother attempting to broach the subject, opting to use indirect and obscure language and avoiding direct mention of female anatomy. During that era, when we inquired about how children were born, our mothers would offer imaginative explanations, like being "vomited through the mouth." Reflecting on it now, I ponder why discussing sex was such a challenge for parents back then. Fortunately, sex education has been introduced into schools, and this generation of parents are more willing to have these discussions with their children.
Growing up, the concept of sex was scarcely discussed around me as my parents censored our television content. As someone born in the late 80's, smartphones were absent, and the internet had limited sex-related materials. However, my parents overlooked the influence of friends and peer pressure in shaping our understanding of these matters.
My first exposure to pornography occurred at a friend's house during a school drive, when those with unpaid fees were sent home. I opted to stay at my classmate's house for the rest of the day instead of going home. Upon reaching her house, we chose to watch a movie. Inserting a cassette we found on the VCD player into it, we pressed play only to be confronted with explicit scenes featuring a naked man and woman engaging in intimate acts, leaving us with our eyes wide open.
Nervously, we turned off the explicit content. However, after a consensus, we chose to continue watching, seeking to understand what sex was all about. To be honest, I found it intriguing, and I began visiting my girlfriend more frequently. She would steal her brother's pornography CDs, eagerly anticipating my visits so that we could watch them together.
This act started at age 15, and when I finally got my first browsing phone (I wouldn't call it a smart phone because there was nothing smart about it), I found out I had access to such materials on the internet, and so I got addicted. The addiction persisted, with every lonely moment dedicated to revisiting bookmarked videos and discovering new ones. The turning point came with marriage. The genuine connection and intimate experiences with my partner surpassed the allure of digital content, and this led to a decision to break free from the addiction.
Pornography and the internet today.
The current internet landscape is saturated with pornography, making it easy to inadvertently encounter explicit photos or videos. Social media platforms often host individuals or groups sharing such content, both solicited and unsolicited, with little regard for its impact on people.
This widespread availability has heightened the chances of adolescents having early exposure to sexual content, given the frequent consumption of these materials. This has resulted in many young people becoming involved in sexual activities at an earlier age than they should have.
The prevalence of pornography has influenced people's sexual expectations, leading to heightened anticipations from partners. Pornography portrays idealized acts, body shapes, and responses. This discrepancy with reality may lead individuals to feel inferior, less attractive, and less desirable as they compare themselves to the often exaggerated standards depicted in these contents. Also,
The easy access to pornographic materials on the internet has significantly transformed sexual practices from the past, introducing a range of acts like anal intercourse, deep fellatio, and engaging in sex with multiple partners into the mainstream discourse.
Certain forms of pornography, like BDSM, can inadvertently encourage violence, and some youths may engage in these acts without a full understanding of the associated risks and limits. Physical aggressions such as slapping, biting, the use of chains, role-playing, gagging, and choking are orchestrated under controlled conditions during a pornography shoot, but some youths attempt these activities in private, which can lead to tragedy as there is no oversight or control to ensure safety.
Pornography has so many categories, of which rape is one. It normalizes rape, depicting women as objects of gratification. The various categories often present sex as a means of punishment or payment for services, reinforcing the perception that a woman's value is solely linked to her body. This representation has contributed to the harmful stereotypes flying around and has skewed perspectives on the role of women in relationships and society.
While internet pornography can facilitate exploration of sexual interests and enhance intimacy for some couples, it's crucial when both partners are in agreement about watching and learning from it. Discrepancies in involvement, where one partner indulges without the other's awareness, can foster a lack of trust and create communication gaps in a relationship. If not managed properly, this situation has the potential to erode feelings and lead to deterioration in the relationship.
Picture are my prewedding pictures taken from gallery