In many of my older posts I have mentioned how I am antisocial. This basically has to do with my reserved nature. Yeah I know some people hear “antisocial” and give an impression as if it is a disease. How shallow minded some people are!
There is no doubt and I do not also deny the fact that I do not do well in crowds. I have been like this majority of my life but I have grown so much you can barely tell this. But whenever the topic arises I still approach it as if I am still like that. Well you cannot blame me because I lived majority of my life running from people(crowds) so it is almost all I know about myself. I am very much more comfortable in crowds now. It took some effort tho.
I am not going to use this post as a therapy to try to dig deep into the roots of my reserved nature. I will tell you this tho, I grew up in the midst of plenty siblings but that did not really make any difference. All of us are like this, reserved. I mean it makes sense for an only-child to not be comfortable in crowds (or with people) but what do you say to someone who grew up with not less than five siblings? Nothing. Nature can be tricky huh? You don’t know everything. Sit down.
My frustrations with crowds started in primary school when I learned that I have a very very bad stage-fright. It killed my self esteem and confidence. As young and carefree as at the age of primary school, I could not stand in front of the class to speak without feeling like… what was I even feeling? I mostly just end up tearing down back to my seat. How embarrassing.
I never liked this. Who likes to embarrass themselves? I grew more reserved. More quiet. More shy. More terrified of people. Books became my companions. Then I started indulging them. When I started reading I realized I was more inclined to personal development books. Books about understanding human nature, how to live with people and have influence on them. I also loved books about how to make money, etc. But I particularly enjoyed the ones about human nature.
I enjoyed reading about how people behave and what makes them behave the way they do and how you can influence them to behave the way you like. It is a very interesting subject. Psychology. This is also the basic principles of marketing. Politics also runs on the same principles. The principles of understanding human behavior. With this information I was able to win an election in the university against someone was coming for the same position the second time. [I shouldn’t fail to give credit to my friends tho]
I am still very reserved but I now understand people a lot more and I always enjoy learning about them. I see myself studying psychology in the future.
So if I should choose one thing to study I would choose to study human behavior, to help businesses make more money and politicians. 😁
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