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I am the second among five children in my family. Every child of the family is blessed with uniqueness in their own way, though I often like to think much less of myself than all my siblings. I have quite a good relationship with all my siblings, some more than others, especially with my younger brother named Barnabas, so named after the biblical Apostle Joses. We are quite close and we get on really well with each other. But, surprisingly, it wasn't so some time before.
Some 3 years ago before a brotherly bond was established between my younger sibling, Barnabas and myself, it was not so friendly between us. Now for the record, this my brother is inches short of six foot, muscled, and possessing a tough, athletic build, what you might call an intimidating physical appearance. He has quite the handsome face, having a dark chocolate brown complexion. Eyes set sharply and glowing in his face like those of a wild cat. He is quite easily the most hardworking amongst the children of the family, the most industrious and one of the most enterprising. But he possesses one fatal weakness which seem to set at naught all the admirable qualities he has: a temper, and this temper was what roughened my relationship with him as a brother.
Because of his easily intimidating appearance, whenever we had a disagreement he would let his words fly at me with a tiger's holler. Whenever he got in a temper it was a real task to get him to do a chore, sometimes to even hold simple conversations.
"I am not going to ever do that," he would say to anyone who asked him to a chore, sometimes with threats. Or "That's completely your business."
And I didn't take these disrespectful behaviours with good grace. Now I am about 6 years his senior, and in his younger years, I often resorted to disciplining him.
With the passage of time, he grew and that was soon not an option, especially after a rift between both of us that drew my father's attention. My dad was declaring in a firm and serious voice to us:
"See that doesn't repeat in this house again. I won't have my children get into squabbles. That isn't the way I was brought up." before proceeding to make the peace.
After this rift between me and my younger brother, I had to come to an important decision. I saw that I had to treat my brother differently, be able to contain myself during disagreements or not react to the disrespectful comments he threw to me. I received the call, so to speak, to love him truly as a brother and be able to manage his weak points especially his temper.
I had a bright idea someday, that is to start deliberately manifesting true love to him. I mean respect him, even though my junior, render him my help whenever he needed it no matter how inconvenienced I was. I helped him in chores, in other matters, took a genuine interest in his studies, ( he is currently a law undergraduate). Whenever he reacted negatively at me I just kept my cool and avoided any form of confrontation.
My little, ingenious formula seemed to work like a psychic's spell. I noticed things started easing and smoothing up between us. He respected and loved me more as I did to him, and most surprisingly helped me out with my chores if I was indisposed, as I did also to him.
That's how the story of the great bond between us began and by Providence's wonderful grace it has so continued. It seemed a heavyweight, the size of a mountain, was hauled off my shoulders.
I adopted this little strategy from stories I have had of how genuine love and care can ease the tension in relationships, I mean treating a loved one well even when they are not doing same to you. They are bound to change with time and start reciprocating. From my practice of amateur psychology I remember it is called The Law Of Reciprocity.
I am glad I applied this rule and it gave my relationship with my younger brother a new face. Turns out I am glad also of the unfortunate incident of disagreement between us years ago that prompted me to hear and accept this call to brotherly love and affection.
Thanks for reading.