Inkwell prompt #85

in #hive-1707982 years ago

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TITLE: EVENING TIME.


Tears rolled down her cheeks and fell on her white bedsheets which had flower patterns all over it. She lay flat on her back, lost in thoughts and looking straight up into the ceiling of her bedroom. A breeze came in through the window with showers of water. It was raining heavily outside but Elsa was so lost in thought, she didn't know she had left her windows open. It was until the rain touched her skin that she was pulled out of her thoughts.

She got up from the bed pulled the windows closed. She stood still at the window, staring outside as though she was waiting for something to happen. The sight of the parking lot had brought back sad memories. She immediately began to cry, sobbing uncontrollably, "why, why God!".

"You should let go, please let me die", those were the words that rang in Elsa's head again and again and again.

Earlier that day she had gone to see her sister and she was full of hope as usual but unknown to her, the camel's back was about to be broken. "You're the most beautiful lady there is" Elsa said, she lay the flowers she had brought on the table beside the bed. "Preparing me for me funeral, eh?" Jenna said in a faint voice. Elsa was fighting the tears that had built up in her eyes, "don't speak that way". She couldn't bear seeing her sister tied to a machine for so long.

Jenna put her hands on Elsa's and squeezed it gently, "we should stop this madness". Elsa didn't say a word, she didn't even look Jenna's direction. "You should let me go, please let me die", those words pierce painfully into Elsa's heart, "and why would you even suggest something like that" Elsa said as she stood up from the bed, "no, no, we're doing no such thing.

The two sisters began to cry profusely, it was a difficult thing to accept but they both realized that it would come to this, the only question was when.
Jenna had been in the hospital for close to a year, she had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and was put on life support. Elsa wouldn't give up on her, Jenna was the only family she had. She doesn't want to lose her sister but she also hates to see her suffer so much.

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You offer good descriptions here, @bahnhoft. You bring us in the room with Elsa. We feel her sorrow, her unwillingness to let her sister go. The prompt is handled well, as is the skill challenge. That's great.

What would make this story really stand out would be a stronger resolution. What that would entail is in Elsa's mind an action, or decision that would indicate she had resolved her conflict. We begin the story with a conflict about her sister's death, and we end it with the same conflict. In the end she can decide to be angry. She can decide to accept the death. It's up to you, but a decision of some kind would be a satisfactory resolution.

Thank you for sharing this sensitive story with us. Have you engaged with two other members of the community this week? Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you very much for the tip.

Seeing one's loved one suffering terribly can be quite a burden. I understand Elsa's wish that her sister recover from her illness, she can only hope for a miracle.

Very true. Thanks for reading

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