Towards the tail end of last year, I had my own fair share of experience of near death. I had been working like crazy, not minding my health. I went from lacking sleep to lacking food. At one point, it was no longer hours of starvation but it progressed to days without food.
Actually, my friend was doing this intermittent fasting thing and she asked me to join, telling me the benefits of how it frees up the body from toxins and accumulated fat. I am not even a fat person so I wondered what's my business with such practice. One thing with peer pressure is that you find yourself giving in even when you don't want to and since she's my bestie and knows a lot about this health thing, I felt she could never be wrong.
I did express my concern as a foodie and countless times did I tell her how food and I are like Romeo and Juliet, inseparable. I basically can't do without food but given my busy schedule, I might have cut down on my food intake at some point but never have I gone a day without food.
From the onset, I knew that following my friend was a recipe for disaster because after she explained how the whole intermittent fasting process works, I knew it wasn't for me because my body has no excess fat stored to use as energy when it's starving. Again, I remembered my ex was always pushing me to exercise and constantly rang it in my ear how being slim does not mean healthy. According to him I could be slim and overweight, of which exercise could fix that. Hearing my friend talk about almost the same thing convinced me to join her intermittent fasting group. I mean, what's the worst that could happen?? Well, dying.
It should be worth noting that my friend and everyone else in her weight loss program are fat, except me, the skinny one.
I started my fast by going 12 hours without food and boy! Did I feel great. I felt a general boost in my mental health and I discovered that I could easily assimilate and have my writing flow without struggles. I also saw how time consuming making a meal was and how effective the hours spent on the whole feeding process were when put in other of my activities. I became even more convinced to go more hours and before I knew it, I was going 48 hours without food. It was all fun and games but here's where it backfired.
Some time last month, my friend sent me some photos on WhatsApp of some river fishes that were brought to him from the village. They were about 7 big sizes and I asked him for one. He said he needed to dry them first which was even a better option for me. While I told him to take his time, it became unnecessarily long and I was not hearing from him concerning the fish. After several days, I texted and inquired if he was still drying and then he apologised that by the time he got done drying, there were more people interested in the fish than expected so he gave them and promised to take me to the fish market to buy any fish of my choice.
It was Saturday morning and I have been without food since Thursday. I was supposed to break the fast by Saturday morning but I still felt great so I decided to push it to 12pm that day. I was getting set for Saturday when my friend texted that he's on his way and I should get set for the fish market. If there's one thing that I hate, it's impromptu calls. Although, given what's at stake, I didn't want to decline so I got ready with my daughter.
My mom had gone out that morning and it was just me and my daughter at home. I couldn't leave her all by herself so I decided to take her along. We met up with my friend and zoomed off to the fish market. It was a really hot day and I have not even had water to drink since the previous day. We went from one fish stand to the other haggling prices and checking for the one that's fair. We eventually got some fish and then I proceeded to another seafood session while my friend settled the payment of the fish. I bought some Periwinkles and I was waiting for the Crabs to be cleaned up by the vendor.
I felt the crab lady was a bit too slow in the cleaning process and I was already feeling some type of way standing and waiting for her to be done. Suddenly, I felt a wave of sharp pain in my head and it felt like my eyes went blurry. I still stood, maintaining my position. I knew what was wrong but I thought I could hang in there. In no time, my legs felt wobbly and my vision got darker and darker. Before everything turned peach black, I managed to locate my friend where he was still settling with the fish vendors. On one hand, he was holding the fishes in a bag in another hand, he held my daughter by his side. I staggered to where they were and by the time I got to him, I was no longer seeing anything, everywhere was dark and I kept getting this stinging pain at the top of my head. I was slipping away, my legs already felt weak and the ground no longer felt hard against my feet. I was standing but it felt like I was in the cloud. With all that I was feeling, I kept fighting to remain conscious.
"Ca-can I please….” I paused for a second to gather more strength to finish up my sentence. Placing my head on my friend's chest, I repeated again but this time, in complete sentences. “Can I please get a place to sit down? I feel really weak."
"Hey! What's wrong? Are you ok? Babe, what's wrong? Should we go to the car? Are you ok? Do you need to rest? Talk to me, what's going on with you?” My friend kept questioning me on repeat. With each question, I responded but for him to keep repeating, it felt like me responding was all in my head.
With my phone in one hand and a bag of periwinkle in the other, I felt the full weight of my body on my knee as I fell by it to the ground. My friend held on to the upper part of my body and gently bent down to hold me properly in his arms. While my body was unconscious, my brain was partially active and I could hear my friend call out my name from a distance. The whole scene happened at the entrance of the market and it caused quite a commotion.
Although distant, I could hear people scream for water and I could feel someone dragging my phone and the bag of periwinkle I was holding. Another was packing my braids in a bun, as I heard some women scream for the hair to be packed away from my face. I worried about my daughter and I fought so hard to see but the more I struggled, the weaker I got and the darker my visions were. Since it felt like my brain was the only thing awake, I thought about tightening my grip on all that I was holding so they wouldn't get stolen. Somehow, I'm guessing it worked because it was a struggle to get those items away from me. The more I felt the items being dragged, the tighter my grip got. Seeing that the items could not be collected, I started hearing a lady yell leave the phone and the bag alone. That moment I wished my daughter was close and I had held on to her before losing consciousness.
There was nothing I did not try to get my body back to full consciousness, I tried screaming, I opened my eye lids as wide as I could but nothing worked and while I battled, I heard my daughter burst into tears yelling, "my mommy".
The more I heard her cry, the more I fought to not lose consciousness completely. I focused on her voice and at the same time, my grip was focused on the items that I was holding. I had forgotten I was in my friend's arm or maybe I thought he left us to go get his car.
The thought that my daughter was still with me kept my brain active. My head felt like an overworked machine as it burned. At that point, I became confused and I have never felt that helpless in my entire life especially for my child.
I wasn't going to give up but I don't know how to get back. I felt tense and overwhelmed, I felt suspended hearing all those voices, some called out for hot pepper, some called out for water and some shouted for someone to go get a car and convey me to the hospital. It was not until my friend called out my name that I knew he'd been there all along and we weren't alone. I focused on my friend's voice not losing my daughter's.
"Ese, let go of the bag and the phone. It's ok, they are safe, I'm here." My friend said to me, at that point, I thought about releasing my grip on the items that I was holding and it worked.
As I freed my hands, I felt less tense. I stopped fighting and I stopped struggling because I felt safe having my friend around. I knew my daughter was also safe and he won't let any harm come to her or even me.
The more relaxed I got, the less active my brian became and it felt like I was walking away from the whole scene. I felt like I was in a cloud drifting away in all that fluffiness. Fortunately for me, I was quickly pulled back with the cold water that was poured on my head and all over my body.
Gradually, my vision got brighter and I regained consciousness. I felt alive, I felt refreshed and the whole experience regaining consciousness made me feel like I got a second chance at life.
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