Inkwell Prompt - Home Coming

in #hive-1707982 years ago

“When is the next one?” Colin asked amidst sweaty palms. He had endured the heat of the middle east until now, now that he was leaving, it has become as if he had been placed in an oven to bake.

He tried swiping off a morsel of sweat but failing as it found its way into the corner of his eyes an d burnt him a little.

Image by Bojitha Wilmalasiri on Unsplash

He was tired, tired of just doing video calls with his family, he wanted to hold Chloe, bury his hands in her hair and rough it up a little just long enough to hear her giggle. His little girl has grown big in two years, he could see the flair in her eyes the last time they spoke. Julia was trying her best he knew, he married not just her looks but her brains.

“There won’t be any till tomorrow sir” the airport receptionist brought him back to reality, even with the air conditioned hall, he still felt hot. He taught about what he was going to do now that he has missed his flight, Chloe would be disappointed, he knew that for sure.

He felt horrible missing two birthdays, and now this when his time here was come to an end, something funny ran through his mind, he echoed the remaining part, a MI6 officer stuck because of a missed flight, so much for all the espionage training.

He turned to head back to the embassy, then he remembered, sgt. Bennet, he had helped the special forces commander a few times with intelligence, surely he could help him get back home today. He taught about squeezing in with a bunch of soldiers, and shrugged , anything for Chloe and Julia.

“You just missed him sir” the officer on duty told Colin,

“Missed him?” Colin said, even as he heard it the first time.

“He and his team rolled out a few minutes ago” the officer added.

There goes my second ride, Colin hissed to himself. He took a cab to the embassy then on second thought asked the middle aged cab man to take him to the nearest bar.

He wasn’t much of an alcohol person but he needed just a bottle of cold beer, not the strong thing he thought.

“Here you go” the waiter said, Colin thought he sounded very English for an Arab, fruits of the military intervention he supposed. He took one sip and then the guilt of missing Chloe’s birthday after promising came back like water in a narrow gutter. He shut his eyes to take it in, the guilt and the beer the same, but were the same taste he thought.

“You don’t mind if I join you” someone said from behind, the voice sounded familiar but he was done and he just offered the seat on his left without looking, then he heard her, her because that sharp ear piercing sound could only be generated by a female.

“Colin” Karen almost screamed, for her it was almost but a few people in the bar turned their heads in response, none mattered to her except this her class mate and friend. She knew he was in the middle east, but not in Iraq, it was a war zone here, not a place for the cool and calm like Colin, but then he was still one of the best officers.

He was sad, she could tell by how sunk in his eyes had been, that or extreme fatigued or both she concluded in enough time for Colin to breathe her name in surprise.

“Karen” he said, then “Oh my God, what are you doing here” he thought he knew every case officer in country, but MI6 always finds a way to surprise you.

“I was attached to a spec ops group in the desert” She said, and then “beer please” to the waiter as he approached her. Colin thought she looked tan, but everybody looked tan, that’s what you get for leaving the comfort of her majesty.

“How long have you been in country?” he asked, and was shocked to get the numbers, it was just as long as his.

“John, understands, but still I have to see him today” she added, Colin gave her a snort,

“What?” she asked, how was he going to tell her now that she had missed her last flight to England, then he thought, maybe she wasn’t travelling by public means.

“Do you have another means of getting home?” he asked, hoping to get a yes, and was happy with himself when it came. What was he thinking, she was attached to a spec ops team for heaven sake and those guys travel any and everywhere.

“How long have you been around this oven” she asked, thank God he thought, he wasn’t the only one who felt the heat.

“The same with you, I was in the embassy” he said, and thought using was meant he had to leave today.

“So you are leaving today also?” she asked, pointing at a bag that lay on the floor carefully placed under the table. He just nodded in response. She could see how pale he was now, his face was clean as if shaved every day, and his jaws where sharp.

“You no longer keep your hair” she asked, he touched his head, as if forgotten he had gotten several hair cuts, and then added “yes, and yours is shorter than I remembered”

Although tucked behind her hair it still glistened and she looked rugged, stronger than he thought she was, her eyes sharp, maybe you develop these form being embedded with hard men.

“You can join me though if you want” she said, “John would be glad to see you” she added, John was always a cheerful one, only that and the love he bore her could have kept him these three years with their twins in high school.

“I would be glad” Colin said, feeling more than glad.

“There” she said,

“What” Colin said, looking astonished.

“That’s the Colin I remembered” she said, he eyes where still sunk in but the smile changed everything, his cheeks got bulkier and the curvatures of his lips expanded. He had always have that great smile, she smiled too happy to be the one that brought something like that to his face.

“Why are you smiling?” Colin asked, she looked less rocky with the smile he thought,

“Because you are” she said, he was grateful to have met her in this bar, he looked around.

“We’ll leave in a few minutes” she assured him,

“Okay” Colin said, taking a sip of beer.

The flight home was a cool one, ad he wasn’t squeezing between soldiers as he thought, maybe only paratroopers squeezed like that he thought. He smiled as he saw Karen sleeping peacefully in her cocoon, it looked like a nest from where he was, he switched on his phone and smiled at the picture of Chloe and then the guilt was gone.

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I can imagine. Breaking promises does a lot to the mental health especially when you let down the ones you love. I'm glad he got to keep his word.


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Your story has a strong arc, @buezor, and good character development. You fill us in smoothly on Colin's personal history so we understand his dilemma. That he should run into an old friend who is also associated with the military is reasonable. You certainly use the prompt well.

What you might consider doing is reading @jayna's recent essay on writing dialogue. Your technical structure could use refining, although the dialogue itself is convincing. Also, for future reference, Middle East is capitalized. These suggestions are meant to help you. Your story is great.

Thank you for sharing this with us. We appreciate that you support other authors in the community with your comments. Nice to see you here again!

Thank you @theinkwell for always giving me tips and tools to be a better writer. I'll surely keep these suggestions at heart.

Yay! 🤗
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