The sky was an ominous gray, heavy with impending rain. Sam gazed out at the churning ocean below from the edge of the cliff. Waves crashed against the rocks, sending up explosions of white foam. The wind whipped through his hair and stung his eyes with salt spray.
This was his favorite spot, where he often came to think and clear his head. But today the atmospheric forces felt particularly turbulent, matching his own inner turmoil.
It had been two weeks since getting diagnosed. Pancreatic cancer. The doctor said it had likely metastasized to other organs already. With treatment, maybe a year to live. Without it, half that.
Sam wasn’t sure he wanted treatment. The grueling rounds of chemotherapy and radiation, just to buy a few extra months. Has this been worthwhile? Or would he rather live out his final days in relative comfort, on his own terms?
A loud crack of thunder ripped him out of his thoughts. The storm was approaching quickly now, dark clouds rolling in. Jagged streaks of lightning sliced through the gloom.
As the first fat raindrops began to fall, Sam turned and walked away from the cliff edge. He followed the narrow dirt trail that switchbacked up through seaside grasses and scrubby trees. Cold rain pelted him, quickly soaking through his light jacket.
By the time he reached the cave, he become shivering. But at least here he was sheltered from the storm’s fury. He sat with his back against the cave wall, listening to the rain drumming the earth outside.
This cave held fond formative years reminiscences. He and his friends used to play here, pretending it was everything from a pirate hideout to a bat cave. As a teenager, he had brought girls here to escape from the prying eyes of parents.
He remembered the heart-pounding thrill of his first kiss, deep in the shadows of the cave. Her name was Ami. He wondered what lifestyle had taken him over.
Sam closed his eyes, transported back to those youthful days of freedom and innocence. How far away they seemed now. The cancer didn’t care about hopes and dreams. It would consume his future day by day, until those days ran out.
There was a storm outside. Thunder boomed and echoed through the cave like a rockslide. Sam thought about the awe-inspiring power of nature. No matter what humans did, the forces of the Earth would continue, immense and inexorable.
Cancer cells also held their own terrible power. Growing, spreading, destroying. But while nature was eternal, the cancer would die along with him. The ocean, thunder, rain - they would remain, long after he was gone. There was some comfort in that.
As Sam sat listening to the storm, an idea slowly took shape. He would forgo treatment after all. The next six months he would spend doing the things he loved most,on his own terms. He would stare down that encroaching darkness without sacrificing first-rate of lifestyles. And when the end drew near, he would come back to this cave, where his life’s journey had begun. Surrounded by the forces of nature that dwarfed human lives, he would make his exit on his own terms.
The storm was lessening now, the thunder fading to a distant rumble. The rain-washed landscape was illuminated by a shaft of sunlight breaking through the clouds. Sam stood and walked to the cave entrance taking a deep breath of the fresh, clean air.
He felt at peace. The storm had cleared, both inside him and out. He had made his choice. He was ready.
