“How was the test?” Selena walked closer to me, where I sat dejected. I had come for a lecture just like every other student to witness an unexpected test.
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It was a semester in which I could tag myself unserious. I barely have a note on the course talk, more of a test book. From the past lectures I have had so far, the course felt foreign in my ears; I didn't understand any bit of anything, and I felt bad.
I knitted my brows in disappointment; I wasn't one who hides her emotions.
“Not good; I barely wrote a thing, and I'm just so scared,” I answered Selena, who blinked her eyes in excitement anticipating my reply.
“What happened?” She asked with those fake concerns, like she wasn't bubbling inside of her for my failure. Selena was a friend, but a different kind of friend. She was beautiful; she was perfect in appearance, but something was short of her; she cared just for herself and couldn't feel comfortable when another tried to cross the line of her position. I took her as a friend because I benefited from her. She was my reading mate and always calls me out for us to go read. I knew that was what bonded us together, nothing more, and I was willing to stay through as long as I had someone to motivate me to read. Reading was the hardest thing for me, but I have come to love it gradually.
I needed space to myself, so she left while I sat down there looking into blank space, wondering what could be my fate with this course. If I didn't buckle up, I was going to fail, and that was the least I wanted for myself. I knew I had lost some marks from the unexpected test, which gave me a lot of concern.
Standing up from the seat, I walked back like I was out of it; my face crumbled and my steps like I just lost someone. I walked back to my department. I had a lecture to catch up on in the next 15 minutes.
Time passed so easily, and the exam was fast approaching. I was satisfied with the remaining 6 courses I offered except for one, the same course that gave me a headache and a broken heart. Ever since after the test, I tried to catch up by having some notes, getting some materials, and occasionally visiting the library to see whether I could change my fate in this particular course, but all my efforts were fruitless. I could vividly see myself failing, and I felt bad as the day of the exam approached faster.
Just as usual, I was called out by Selena for night class for us to read throughout the night. I had two courses to write the next day. This particular course that gave me issues was my afternoon paper. To console myself and not to think so much, I focused on my morning paper, then something caught my eye. I saw Selena with a test book on this particular course that gave me issues.
"Please, can I check the test book?” She protested at first but allowed me to glance through it. I was so drawn to this particular test book, and I had this feeling that reading through it would give me the answers to all my questions.
Selena was so protective of this book, and she immediately grabbed it and didn't give me space to get more details, claiming she was reading it. I was calm, and we both went back to reading, occasionally stealing glances at her, waiting patiently for when her head would begin to nod on its own.
Checking my time, it was past 10 and presuming I gave her one hour time for her to eventually fall asleep, I knew she was going to. You wouldn't blame me; this was one of the times I felt so uneasy and had this feeling to satisfy my urge of failure. I couldn't bear to fail. Not after coming this far, I was in my 300 level, and with the reminder of my father's voice echoing in my head to always have a good grade. I was working on my parents' terms to come out with good grades; I needed to give them that satisfaction, and this particular course wasn't going to drag me backwards.
"Nancy, please wake me up in an hour's time,” Selena finally said to me by 12am. If only she knew I was anticipating for her to fall asleep.
"Ok,” I replied just after she fell asleep. I took the test book from her and began to study, and all of it began to make sense to me. I now understood everything about the course. Four hours gone, I was still studying while Selena slept. I was kind of selfish, but you won't blame me because I knew the moment she opened her eyes she was going to take the test book from me. I wondered why she decided to hide it after all my complaints to her about the course and how I was in desperate need of help.
“You didn't wake me up,” she said, getting up and running her hand across her face to beat off the sleep.
“I'm sorry I forgot,“ I apologized, and just when she saw the book in my hand, she snatched it off immediately. I just smiled to myself; I was already done getting what I wanted, and just like that, I solved the hardest puzzle in just one night.
It was an A from the course, getting me another complaint from Selena about the reason why she made a B. She had accused me of not telling her answer in the exam hall, and for her, I was the reason why she made a B. How delusional.
