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My friends, Mia, Jenny and Isabel. Mia, the head of the circle, never fails to wear makeup on her face. Jenny looks rich, always changing her hair at intervals with new braids. Her shoes are neat and speak of luxury. Isabel the talkative who boasts a lot of the vacation she has gone with her parents outside and within the country.
You could tell I'm the strange one in the midst of them because I love being alone. Having lunch alone in the class and tapping my hand on the desk with my eyes staring blankly on the board while others were outside playing and screaming with excitement.
The fact is that I would love to express my thoughts, to make friends just like others but I'm scared, scared of whatever I say coming out like gibberish. I lacked that confidence and it's been stuck in my bones and just like a part of me. I was just an Iceland left in the middle of the sea. Though Iceland has shrubs surrounding them but mine nothing, no one cares less about my feelings and I'm so judgemental that I have to study every physical expression before I could utter anything from my mouth.
Mia And I were left in the class, occasionally I glanced at her wondering what might be wrong with her, she is the opposite of me. Being the leader of a group of friends. Why all of a sudden she is suddenly seated alone almost seems like she was about to cry. I was concerned but I lacked the confidence to even approach. I had wanted to be her friend to be classified among the hot clicks in school by being in her circles but I couldn't tell how to extend a friendship hand.
My legs had a mind of their own and I was already In Front of her locker with half eaten food in my hand.
“Do you care?” I asked for extending a kindness I knew would be totally rejected. I was in primary 5 then, carrying food to school was decided by my mother. Sometimes it comes by and sometimes water is just the only solution. Either way I adapted to it.
She glared at me turning her head to the side, I was totally embarrassed like I was just a fly In Front of her. I swallowed hard, embracing a confidence I lacked even to myself. If it were other times I will find myself running off to behind the library where I will cry my eyes out but instead I found myself still standing In Front of Mia.
“Are you okay? You look like you're in pain” I asked firmly, my gaze never leaving her.
“My stomach hurts” her words came out in a whisper, she clutched a hand over her stomach, her face squeezed like she was in a softer pain.
“Why don't you eat something? I will get you medication from my bag” I offered but then I had doubts she was going to reject my half eaten porridge beans with plantain but she didn't instead she took it from me and began eating.
I rushed over to my desk getting the medicine I took once I had a stomach upset a few days ago. My dad asked me to put it in my bag with the intention of taking it from me later when we get home but I guess he completely forgot about it.
I offered it to her with my water and she immediately drank after eating. She rested her head on the locker while I tapped her back. That was how Mia and I became tight friends. Even our friendship was questioned by her circle because I didn't meet up with them. How could I when my hair is cut so low that if vaseline is applied to it, it will surely be shining under the sun. In my Dad's words it's better I cut the hair low instead of cutting any style within 2 weeks it's already grown. My school accepted braiding of hair or trimming the hair low.
“Umh, I don't think…” I grumbled not liking the idea of them coming to my house. I don't know how my parents are going to take it and their expectations of me.
“Come on Jeclyn, this will straighten our friendship since we live on the same street. Knowing each other's house is nothing. Moreover, we can follow any of our parents to school in case something happens” Mia tried to convince me but my gaze swept the floor away from the scrutinizing gaze of the people I now call my circle.
“Fine” I said then hiss and sigh filled the air. I could feel their thoughts deep within but nobody said anything. I went home to tell my mother and to my surprise she accepted and even offered to make something for my friends.
They all came by Saturday evening and it was the best sleepover ever. We had our own adventures and for my friends they never took me for granted again.
“ I thought you're from a poor home and I had to imagine how your house will be, but you beat my guess,” Isabel said.
How could she know when I'm just the opposite of who I am
