The sands of time - a fantasy tale

in #hive-17079811 months ago

I woke, but found myself unable to move. Wakefulness emerged into my consciousness suddenly like a jolt from an electric charge. It shook me into wakefulness and yet, other than that, my body felt trapped, as if pinned down by something heavy.

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https://pixabay.com/photos/ai-generated-diver-desert-sand-7785767/

I couldn't move my limbs and a momentary sense of panic arose in my mind. As I cleared my thoughts, I felt like a man in a hypnagogic state where the mind is conscious, yet the body refuses to respond to any calls to action. As the instinctive jolt of paranoia subsided, I noticed that it was only because there was a heavy weight upon me that it seems so difficult to move.

It was still dark as well and the blackness plus this heavy weight felt quite claustrophobic. I struggled to clear my head and found my memories appeared to have got lost on the way to my conscious awareness.

Where I came from, or where I was, seemed like a mystery. Driven by a sense of urgency, I shook my limbs with more determination, and with every effort of my will, attempted to shake myself out of this sense of feeling trapped.

I struggled, but after a little while felt my arms and legs slowly gaining some degree of movement. Gradually I realized that I was in some sort of suit, like a diver under the water at unparalleled depth. As I shook my arms they sprung free from the heavy weight and I flailed about in what appeared to be the open air.

Inspired by this sense of fleeting success, I used the leverage obtained from freeing my arms to push myself still further up and out from this entanglement in which I found myself. With still further effort I gradually pulled the upper part of my body up and out from this quadmire of mystery and uncertainty.

Suddenly the darkness faded and I however found myself still blinded, but this time by the dazzling brightness of the light which obliterated everything from my vision.

After a few seconds I raised my arms up and felt that I was indeed in a suit with a helmet and glass screen. As I swiped my hand, clearing the visor, I saw before my eyes what appeared to be fine sand. The light that shone through it simply turned everything into absolute whiteness and forced me to shut my eyes.

I lay back and memories and thoughts started flooding back, as if the light had cracked open a chasm and allowed memories from the other side to pour into my waking conscious mind from their hidden and unlimited library.

As I lay there, as if knocked backwards by a stunning blow of remembrance, it dawned upon me who I was, where I was, and what was actually going on. I was on a mission. I had just landed on this planet. I was in service to the force, and had a mission to fulfill on this particular planet that was of crucial importance at this time in history, for this generation and in fact for future generations for millennia to come.

Much rested upon my ability to succeed in the mission I had been given by my senior guides when they sent me to this perilous planet at a particularly dark and dire time in its history.

The suit that I wore wasn't so much a space suit as a time capsule. I had just been projected - not so much through space - but through time, to arrive at this particular point in history, now, where an intervention was required.

Time of course was merely one of the various elements involved in the creation, maintenance, and destruction of the cosmos. I had lived in the past and had been sent forward now to this point and my mission, although still hazy of all the details, was slowly returning to clarity in my mind's eye. I had a job to do, a mission to accomplish, a service to fulfill in the force for my authorities, whom I served on these most dangerous of missions.

My protective time capsule suit felt claustrophobic and I needed to escape so I disconnected my breathing aperatus from the internal oxygen supply. Then I unclipped my helmet and breathed in lungs full of the fresh atmosphere, which was still much the same as ever before.

Yes, there had been more powerful solar flares during this particular Sun spot cycle than in many of the previous eleven year cycles. And indeed the sunspots had triggered some severe earthquakes and volcanic eruptions which had filled the atmosphere with smoke and ash over 30 miles into the atmosphere.

As a result, at this point of my arrival in time, there was in the sky a canopy of permanent cloud creating what had become known as "the year without a summer". However, despite the lack of the usual sunlight, still the air was fresh and breathable - at least here where my time capsule had deposited me, which appeared to be in the middle of nowhere.

As I stood up, shaking more dust off my suit, I looked around me and all I could see for miles in any direction was more sand. The view was a little daunting.

It was then that I heard a strange voice coming from somewhere in the sand nearby.

Captain can you hear me? This is your GPT speaking. Please report on your vital statistics. Do you remember the mission? Please respond so that I can assist you accordingly.

I looked down at the sand and there, no more than boot high, stood my small metal AI robot assistant. I called it Gepetti, as that seemed to be the best name for it.

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https://pixabay.com/photos/ai-generated-robot-future-chatgpt-7770055/

Yes Gepetti, I'm okay. My vital statistics are fine. Let me think a little bit... Yes I remember the mission. It's slowly coming back to me now. You might need to help me with the details though.

That's what I'm here for captain, my little bot replied.

Just give me the right prompts and I'll point us in the right direction with all the data required. Right now we need to find the forest and get ourselves out of this treacherous desert terrain.

Once we are out of the desert and in the forest, we need to locate other members of the resistance there. Let's head east Captain, the forest is in this Direction.

Gepetti went east and I began heading in that direction with my bot in the lead. After what seemed like several hours, I saw in the distance something like a green cloud. The nearer we drew, the larger it became, until eventually I saw that it was not a cloud but a thick mass of green trees. It was the forest, and just in time too as my suit was beginning to dry and my recycled water supply was just about empty.

We got to the forest and we sat down to rest in the shade for a little while. I say "we" because Gepetti was much like another person, even though it was not in any way as sentient being. Therefore, I was actually completely alone, yet I never really felt so because I always had the guiding voice of my commanders in my mind,f urging me on, to keep to the mission and not fall into distraction while navigating through the enemy terrain.

After a while, my chatbot lit up and said, Captain I think someone is watching us from behind the bushes.

With that, Gepetti headed toward the bush and gave it a a gentle nudge. At this point a strange creature emerged from the shadows behind the bush. It seems so soft and cuddly that I concluded it was basically homeless. It look like small fluffy cat.

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https://pixabay.com/photos/cat-kitten-animal-forest-fantasy-7627625/

It approached Gepetti who was a similar size and said, Are you the captain? We have been expecting you. Let me take you to my mistress, the princess of the forest. She was told of your arrival and sent me here to a way to you.

Follow me and I will take you to her hideout, where there resistance are planning the next great and final part of this life-transforming mission. You are a crucial part have this final piece in the puzzle and we must hurry for there's no time to lose. Everything hangs now in the balance.

The cat said these words to Gepetti and then turn around heading along a narrow track between the trees. Gepetti followed with me close behind, almost like a mere observer of the main characters who now led the way deeper into the forest.

After some time, the little fluffy cat stopped at a majestic clearing by a lush and tranquil river, where's some houses appeared like nests in and amongst the trees of this green forest that now surrounded us entirely.

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https://pixabay.com/photos/ai-generated-fantasy-trees-forest-7516289/

Just three of us, yet should I say I myself alone, accompanied by no one else, and only a robot in a cat beside me. We climbed the wooden stairs and approached a doorway to the forest dwelling.

These opened has guards ushered me in and I came before what appeared to be a beautiful woman - simultaneously strong yet also delicate, who was clothed in adornements which seemed to suggest that she was of senior rank amongst all those others about her.

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https://pixabay.com/photos/ai-generated-woman-flowers-fantasy-7802185/

When we entered, they stopped their deep conversation and looked up. The woman in the centre particularly smiled and welcomed me in, where I approached them as they stood around the table scattered with maps of the terrain.

Welcome servant of the force, she said to me.

We have been expecting you. Come and join us here around the table and let me show you what this final and most important part of your mission is, at this crucial point in time in the history of our planet and all who dwell upon its surface.

I joined a noble lady at the table as she stood surrounded by 21 other men and women who advised her along the path.

We need you, she said looking up at me while pointing at the centre of the map, to take these valuable hearts to this world tree at the center of our region. It is a dangerous path, therefore we asked for one who could navigate through enemy terrain while still maintaining and unbreakable link with the force.

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https://pixabay.com/photos/ai-generated-heart-plant-leaves-7737216/

If you can succeed in taking the four hearts to the world tree and placing them there, we will be able to revive the dwindling life force has sustains our planet and all of us.

I listened intently.

Take these hearts now and deliver them to the world tree. They are like recharged batteries which bring life back to our fragile and vulnerable system at this crucial juncture in the great age.

I bowed to the noble lady before me and accepted the four valuable hearts. I turned and left with Gepetti at my side and as we exited the grand meeting hall, my little bot pointed out our direction and we headed off into the thickest part of the forest.

After many hours of travelling through the dense terrain, I felt my strength being depleted at some points, but I continued onward knowing that the current situation in which I found myself was not my true identity or my real home.

I knew that I was only here temporarily on a mission and that once the mission was completed this body and this point in time in the history of the worl would disappear as I returned to the place from which I originally came.

Therefore, even more important than the body and its instincts were the mission and the future of life on this Earth. Despite a fragile body and mind and despite the distractions all around, as I traversed through the forest with its thick grasping vines and creepers, eventually I came to a large open space in the centre of the forest in which stood a gigantic rainbow tree.

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https://pixabay.com/photos/tree-colorful-ai-art-magic-tree-7431264/

I had never seen such a multicolored tree in my life and this was truly an amazing site. It was like the Rainbow Bridge because on one hand it's roots dug down deeply into the earth beneath us and on the other hand it's branches seemed to reach out into the atmosphere almost through the sky and into the heavens itself.

The branches shot upward like bolts of electricity or lightning and seemed to connect a higher realm with this physical earth planet on which we now stood. It was crucial that I placed the four hearts of green and gold around this world tree, so that the charge could be maintained and the connection with the force could be secured at this crucial juncture in time, where it's connection seems so fragile and tenuous.

My suit was beginning to fail me and my life force in this particular time capsule was coming to an end. I knew I didn't have long to go, and yet I simply had to complete the mission, having come this far. With my last bit of strength I knelt at the base of the world tree and placed one of the four hearts at each of the four cardinal points of the compass.

With that I reported my results of my work to Gepetti, who then sent my signal back to my commanders at the base to describe the success of my mission.

I then lay down by the tree as my final reserves of energy came to their end. Here I prepareed to be transported back to my original time zone and to the place of no anxiety from which I had specifically come in order to succeed in this mission.

With my last report presented to Gepetti, I closed my eyes and whispered by mantra softly to myself. With that I felt and saw the world around me slowly fade away with nothing to show of my presence there except perhaps for the hearts at the base of the tree and my notes with Gepetti.

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Danyavaad Bhatt ji, you are very kind.
Apologies for selling my IU tokens recently, I needed to cash out for living expenses as my income is limited in my shaky Dakshin Afrika economy as a babaji.

Jai Sri Radhe Shyam

Your piece has some interesting ideas and thought behind it - sci-fi isn't an easy genre to tackle! It could, however, do with some editing to correct grammar, spelling, and punctuation, and to tighten up the narrative. Misplaced words scattered around your piece (assumed to be typos), affect readability and the natural flow of your submission. There is also a sense of redundancy in a number of scenes - the same point is made in a number of descriptive ways, and scenes are therefore unnecessarily drawn out as a result. eg: your opening scene makes various references to the fact that your MC is unable to move. One carefully selected sentence could instead convey the same information with far greater impact. Your dialogue presentation would also stand out more if you used speech marks to make it clear when someone is speaking and when the identity of the speaker changes.

Your MC arrives on the planet at a predetermined time in the future to bring a solution to a problem that the planet's inhabitants are facing with a dwindling life force. We do wonder what the MC learns about himself on his journey and/or how he grows through the experience. It's important that you create both a strong story and character arc to hold your the attention of your audience.

We hope these points of guidance will help you to hone your writing skills.

Please keep writing!

Thank you for writing in The Ink Well.

Awesome insights and feedback. A person with no training can benefit from your insights.

Hey there many thanks for the tips. I'm still learning and it's a challenge to edit on my mobile device.

The main character went through a loss or transcendence of ego in his evolution through the story. Like an anti-hero.

I appreciate your feedback. I'll aim to improve.