The squeaking sound coming from the swing was doing a great job of calming Mimi’s nerves as she rocked back and forth. Mimi always used swings to self-soothe whenever she was anxious and it worked like magic.
“Is it going to be a girl? Will she love to play and watch animals at the zoo like me? Oh, we are going to have so much fun.” She brought the two tiny toy elephants from her pocket and joined them. Her anxiety was already giving way to joy when her father came bursting through the park behind the hospital's children's wing.
“It is a girl Mimi! It is a girl.” Her father, Javier Jensen yelled.
Mimi jumped off the swing and gave her father a tight warm embrace. Together they raced through the halls of the hospital where a nurse was waiting to usher them in.
Mimi froze the second she set her eyes on her little sister. She was perfect. Mimi ran to the cradle beside her mother's bed and simply marveled at the little human shrouded in a pink lush shawl. The way she gently blinked and sucked her lips into a pout stirred Mimi to tears. Mimi tucked one toy elephant in her cradle. “Best friends forever,” she whispered.
“Now, you have a sister. Her name is Lilly.” Her mother, Mina said softly.
Mimi hugged and kissed her mother. She had been an only child for twelve years and her parents adored her. Still, she longed for the sweet companionship of having a sibling just like her friends. Now she had a beautiful baby sister to brag and whine about.
Mina was discharged a day later and the happy family went back home to little outbursts of laughter and excitement, cooing, giggling, and crying. Caring for a newborn was all so new again to the couple and it challenged them a tad. The atmosphere-sweet and sour had changed for the Jensen family and they loved it.
Lilly was blossoming with each milestone at a time and Mimi was there to hold her during each family portrait. She was now teaching her sister to crawl and she always had a good laugh whenever Lilly would give up on her fours and surrender to her little pot belly on the floor instead.
On the eve of Mimi’s birthday, Lilly would not stop crying. Mina and Javier thought it had something to do with her teething. Her pacifier did nothing to soothe her. They managed to console her through the night and made it to the hospital first thing in the morning.
When Mimi came home from school that afternoon. The house was unusually quiet. Mimi’s heart skipped. Her birthdays were never quiet ones. Her parents would often put up balloons and music, and a big cake would be sitting pretty on the dining table.
Mimi slowly walked to the living room to find her parents just sitting there. The air instantly thickened and a shiver ran down her spine. Her mother's eyes were red and bulged. Her father's head was in his palms and a deafening silence echoed in Mimi’s thumping heart.
“Where is Lilly? It was her tooth, wasn't it? The doctors! They treated her didn't they?” Mimi began to stutter.
Her parents couldn't say a word as more tears streamed down her mother's face.
“Mum! Dad! Say something.” Mimi pleaded. As she went to grab her father's arm, she quivered and her eyes began to water.
“Lilly is gone.” Javier let out in a painful whisper. He took his daughter's hand and locked Lilly’s toy elephant in it. “She left us.” He stood up and left the living room.
The days ahead were the longest and most painful the Jensens had ever experienced. They never talked about Lilly and Mina blamed herself even though the doctors could not determine the cause of death. She wished she could turn back the hands of time and take Lilly in earlier.
Lilly took with her the joy and laughter. The hallways echoed her giggles. Everywhere Mimi looked, memories of her sister lingered. Two years passed and the Jensens became like strangers living together. Lily’s demise took its toll on all of them and they never healed together as a family. Mina was a shadow of herself and Javier buried himself in work. Mimi had become invisible to even her parents. She felt like they had abandoned and like her sister, she simply didn't exist anymore.
On Mimi’s fifteenth birthday, she sat at the dinner table with her parents. They were going to have yet another dinner with only the sound of rattling cutlery competing against the deafening silence in the room.
Mimi doubted if her parents ever remembered her birthday or if it was a deliberate attempt to forget the painful demise of her baby sister. Just as her parents began to fondle their spoons, Mimi brought out her sister's little toy elephant and placed it in the middle of the table. She swallowed hard. She had premeditated the act all day.
“What is this Mimi?” Javier almost choked on his chickpeas.
“An elephant Dad! This is the elephant in the room so let's talk about it. Do you want to pretend like you don't see it?” Mimi raised her voice.
“What has gotten into you, Mimi?” Mina banged the table in a fit of rage.
“So now you see me, mom?” Mimi tried to sound firm but her emotions betrayed her. Tears started to fall freely down her face.
Mina was now speechless and for the first time in a very long while, she really looked at her daughter. She saw that Mimi was growing into a fine young lady and she wasn't even a part of the process.
“It happened to all of us.” Mimi broke down. “I loved her too and I'm sure she wouldn't want this. She'd want us to be there for each other. I'm sorry that she passed on my birthday. I'm sorry I couldn't fill the vacuum she left. I'm sorry_
“Hush Mimi hush.” Her father rushed to hug her. None of that is your fault. I'm sorry it took this much to realize we are failing you too. I'm sorry honey.” he kissed her head.
“My little girl,” Mina muttered between sobs. She joined her family in a big embrace. “We are going to start over. I promise.”
And so, the little toy elephant on the table no longer held pain and unhealed trauma. It now signified a renewed hope in the Jensen Family.
