It was a cold night and Frank was broken, bruised and sore. It would have at least felt better if these wounds were physical, then they could have been tended to by a nurse or a doctor, or he could have applied first aid by himself or placed a bandaid or something. At least he would have had something to do, knew what to do and probably would be doing it. Rather, frank sat in the only chair in his cozy room, except he wasn't feeling cozy at all.
His heart was in shambles, his heart was wrinkled and he was very sure it had shrunken in size in the last two hours. His body was numb and he could not move his arms nor even feel them in the usual place where they should be.
He had thought this was it, that he had finally made the right choice, he had finally found his luck and was going to be happy. He just realized that luck was never on his side from the beginning. He had just been taken for a ride only to be thrown out just as he was about to reach his destination. Who had he offended to be so unfortunate in matters of the heart? Who had he angered that must have cursed him to never find his soulmate? When would this endless search for the one come to an end? What would he do after this one more failed attempt?
In the quest to silence his throbbing heart, Frank finally got up after being on his couch for 2 hours plus, to pour some water on the blazing furnace that was now his skin. He had no energy to stand, so there he lay on the bathroom floor as the water drizzled down his hair, face and then other parts his body. He couldn't hold it in anymore, as the tears that had been pricking his eyes finally let loose.
Men don't cry he had said to himself, but as soon as the thought came to his head, it seemed to have amplified the tears even more cos they came running down like a storm. His heart was beyond shredded, they were beyond shambled, what they were could not be quantified nor qualified with any word that existed yet. His pain was definitely not of this world.
Betty had been his all, his anchor, his joy, his pride his sunshine. How was he to carry on without her. What would he do now that she was gone?. How would his mornings be like without her voice filtering into his ears as he dressed for work. Who would he visit on his off days at work?. His was definitely bound to be a boring life going forward.
With those thoughts on his mind, Frank folded into bed. Except he couldn't find sleep. It was like sleep was running away from him, just as everything good seemed to be doing at the moment. Helpless and hopeless, he just laid there waiting for what he wasn't sure would come.
The bright light that filtered in from his drawn curtains woke Frank up from a sleep he never knew he had. He turned to get up and was greeted with a sharp headache as fierce and bold like a lion. He wasn't surprised because he hadn't expected his day to begin any better.
His two bedroom apartment was beautifully, designed with white and blue colours being the most visible and vibrant. His curtains had been picked out by Betty. The couch, his reading table and the shelves in his living room were her doing as well. The more he tried to think of something else, the more thoughts of her flowed in from every corner of his room. Not to mention the pictures of her that hung on the wall.
The phones in the room were buzzing non stop but Frank was unbothered and unperturbed. Talking to someone was the last thing on his mind. The only person he wanted to talk to was Betty and that was the one thing he could not do. Not now, not later, not ever.
In an attempt to put his mind to good use and off Betty, Frank was on his work desk with his laptop in front on him. As he turned on the system, his heart was shredded once more cos he was greeted with a beautiful picture of Betty and her ever alluring smile.
Why had he allowed her travel to Boston. He could have stopped her, or better still drove her down himself. He had allowed her reassuring smile to sway him into agreement. Now her car had crashed and she was gone. She was dead. His sunshine was no more, and he was doomed to endless eternal darkness. From going on a three day trip, she was gone for life, away from his reach, a journey of no return.
This sadness was more than he could bear. He had to pack up and leave, a change of scenery, somewhere he could mourn in peace, devoid of disturbing phone calls and the sound of his doorbell.
With a ready heart and a packed bag, Frank was set. He needed to breathe again and nothing would change his mind.
