My Brown Sugar, a Rose

in #hive-1707982 years ago

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The best friend I ever had, was the sweetest person I have ever known. We were demure, yet bold, reticent strangers who shared everything and nothing.
Building friendships had always been something sceptical for me, but her aura made it impossible for me to reject her. Our friendship blossomed like wildflowers growing naturally in a work environment, yet, she was as beautiful as a rose.
I like to think of her as my saccharine Brown Sugar, and I still have many sentimental items that I hold on to.

Brown Sugar, with pretty hazel-brown eyes, with a sanguine persona. Her contoured curves were admired by everyone.
Calculating San Francisco time and Jamaica time, I'd anticipate our long-distance calls which brought howls with laughter, and I'd blink my eyes and purse my lips at my exorbitant phone bills, knowing it was worth every penny. I still have fond memories of her sweet refined voice. She was always solicitous in conversation, and her words at the end of the line were like jingles assuring me that everything would be alright.


You know, that je ne sais quoi appeal. I admired her for her strength and comeliness.
Brown Sugar was responsible.
She could dance in the rain and scold me with her pretend rod.
Brown Sugar was like a mother, a big sister, and a bestie. She always had the answers, even when I found myself in troublesome situations. She always gave me her auspicious best wishes.

Brown Sugar had an unmatched instinct, and our "detective sessions" were legendary. Our antennas were alert, and there was always a case to be tried, followed by endless gales of laughter.

Many nights we went restaurant-hopping. We liked to paint the town while laughing beneath the stars on our late nights on the seafront. Brown Sugar had that innate country girl dexterous machete abilities. Like a fly swatter for pouncing males, she was, and I felt secure with her:)

My phone rings.

— "Hi! I'll be staying for a week. What do you have planned for tonight?" "I'm at Marguerite's, do you want to come?"

— "Oh ya! Sounds good to me." I'd always say.

Marguerite's by the Sea was the spot to be on Montego Bay's Hip-strip in Jamaica. Brown Sugar was a hostess at Marguerite's whenever she visited the island for lengthy periods, while I slaved worked as a concierge at a luxury hotel.

Making dinner reservations at hotel restaurants and off-site eateries was a huge responsibility of my job.
Marguerite's, a gourmet seafood restaurant with a nightclub Marguerita Ville, attached. It was a popular spot for tourist and locals alike.

Brown Sugar always squeezed my guests reservations in, whenever I called to book. Frequently the free shuttle bus ran late to pick up my irate guests, and Brown Sugar lied so skilfully whenever I'd call to get an update on the driver's location.

"The driver will soon be there, he's just around the corner." (in true Jamaican style), which meant an extra 15 to 20 minutes if I was lucky.


We never went for long periods without speaking to each other, and it was a habit for Brown Sugar to send me care packages.

I'll never forget that one time in Leiden, Netherlands when a delivery driver I was expecting came banging on my door. He presented me with a care package and told me that I had to pay 45 euros for duty. What a predicament! That was my pocket money for the month, and I dare not tell Brown Sugar because I knew that she would have sent that money and it just seemed so wrong.

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If only I could turn back the time.

Now married and living in the UK, I had a tight schedule of volunteering jobs. Some days I did telephone support for persons affected by cancer for a private charity, while other days I spent a few hours on the cancer ward at the hospital doing hand massages for patients with cancer.
It was the most fulfilling job ever. The patients looked forward to seeing me on Tuesdays and Wednesdays.
While volunteering, I made a great connection with another volunteer, many years my senior who was on remission from Cancer. She was the first friend I made when I relocated to the UK. Sadly she passed away.


I was lying on my bed when Brown Sugar called me. Her voice was low. She said she was at the former hotel where I worked. She gave me the low down on the happenings. I missed her so much. She asked about my immigration status and how easy it would be for me to go to visit her in the United States. We agreed that it was best to wait until I had received my permanent residence, which would allow me free movement.

-- "Are you still doing voluntary work? How do you feel about it." Brown Sugar asked.

-- "Yeah, I don't know if there's a meaning to it, but there's something that is drawing me to to work and care for cancer patients. It's so rewarding though." Was my reply to Brown Sugar.

-- "You're doing the right thing. Keep doing it if you feel so good about it."

... We said goodbye.

A few weeks went by and I had finally secured a job working as a Chiropractic Assistant. I was juggling jobs and training. Brown Sugar was constantly on my mind, and the list of things I wanted to discuss with her and update on each other's lives was getting longer.

I was scheduled to be off on a Thursday, the day I would ring up Brown Sugar. On Tuesday evening as I sat down to dinner, I received a tearful call from Brown Sugar's husband that she passed away from a superbug she contracted while undergoing an operation for Cancer.

A part of me died, but I learned to live again. Twelve years later, and this is the first time that I've been able to pen my feelings for my best friend.
My Brown Sugar!
My rose!💔🥀


All images are mine.

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Oh my goodness, @millycf1976. What grief you must have endured all these years. Friends that dear and special are few and far between. I'm crying as I write this, just thinking about it, and about those I've lost that left an enormous gaping hole, like the vacant spot for your lovely Brown Sugar. Big hugs to you, friend. I hope it was healing to write this.

Thank you so much @jayna.
Yes, I have grieved more than I would ever say. I had wondered if I'd ever be able to write about this, but I'm not one to force things. With the presented prompt, I knew this was it.
I'm happy that I did 🤗

This post made me a bit emotional. Brown Sugar was a special friend. Cherish the lovely memories. Thanks for sharing your story.

It was emotional for me to write. Thanks for stopping by:)

💕

A rollercoaster ride of emotion, such joy, such sadness. A beautiful piece.

Thank you 😊
I was in denial of her death for so long, and I went through a period of questioning.
Now I dance in the rain because of her:)

Wow, very powerful read. She sounded like quite a woman and not just because of her machete abilities.

innate country girl dexterous machete abilities.

It's sad that you lost her. I'm glad that she was a part of your life though.

Yes, she was truly special. I often told her husband that I thought she was the sweetest person ever. He told me that she was not the kind to get on the wrong side. He swore that we were sisters.
I'm happy she came into my life and she'll always be a big part of me.

I owe it to her to improve my machete skills 😄

You must really miss your best friend. This is an interesting story

Indeed! I'm happy that you found this interesting 👍

I can't even think of much when it comes to my childhood friends, all I have are some of those childhood memories of ours. Most of my friends are abroad, spread out in many different countries and continents, they've all been there for almost a decade now.

Online interactions with some are still there, but these virtual chats really don't mean much. And we're all usually in a hurry, thanks to our different time zones and lifestyles.

If someone had told us back then, that one day we'd be this spread out and so out of touch, out of reach, then most of us wouldn't have believed it.

Oh, I can relate to that. It's the same for me. I have a small circle that I'm happy with, but my friends are all over the world, and our meet-ups and interactions are few. We value each other and make the most of our times together when we do get to meet or speak:)

The online chats we have are usually quite brief, and from the looks of it, I don't think any of them plan on coming back for a visit any time soon.

Luckily, there's one group that's here, who are fairly active; a group consisting of people who I've met over the years through social media or gaming.

Yeah, I know how it is. It's a different world now.
My other best friend who I have not seen in 9 years, happened to visit Jamaica for a few days just last week. Unfortunately, we did not get to meet as planned. Such is life though.
Hopefully, we will get a chance to do so another time:)

Hopefully, we will get a chance to do so another time

I believe the chance and time will come, it's just about the wait right now, and patience. ☮️✨

Absolutely 🤞

Yay! 🤗
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I love your writing style, it is so beautiful and elegant 💛 as was the story itself. Brown Sugar will live on! I always think of the quote: "People will forget what you said and did, but they will never forget how you made them FEEL."

Lovely story, thank you for sharing!

😊 Thanks for your sweet and thoughtful reply.

Brown Sugar will live on!

Absolutely! She was many years my senior, and the penny dropped on many of her wise words when situations in my life unfolded.
It's like she's always watching over me 😇

TY--ThoughtfulDailyPost.jpg


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Wes...

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This is such a sad story - I can imagine that it was indeed hard to write. Such dear friendships are a real treasure. I am sure her memories comfort you. I am guessing that you were not aware that she was not well. I think she was comforted by the work you did with cancer patients.
I think she would be happy that you learnt to live again and that you've shared this beautiful story of your special connection.

Hey!

I can imagine that it was indeed hard to write.

Yes, it took me long enough, and yesterday felt right.

No, I had no idea she was not well. I think it was a difficult decision for her not to tell me... Catch-22: Tell me and I can't make it and I live feeling guilty, or she knew I would have found a way even if it affected my immigration requirements... For the person that she was, she would not have wanted that at all.
She taught me a lot about life... She was years ahead of me in many ways and she prepared me for so many things that sometimes I have to take moments to process them all.

Thanks for your kind words:))

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Oh Milly... ☕🤗💚

This piece reminded me of my own best friend in a way, she is also the type to make things happen with me. There is something in a sisterhood that is dynamic in this way... it is pure magic!! I believe that creating together is one of the greatest joys as women, and it sounds like you two made masterpieces out of so many situations together!

When I read your recollection of the phone call, I can't help but to think that she just wanted you to give your love to your benefactors, so did not tell you? I cannot speak for Brown Sugar obviously, nor would I try to. It seems from my limited point of view, that maybe she did not want your tenderness to be split?

It is a tremendously hard job to help cancer patients, you know this better than I! Maybe your work was a comfort to her that you were not even aware of? That is what I walk away feeling. She must have been so proud of you for holding space for a variety of people... what a valuable and beautiful set of vocations!

A hand massage is the most underrated comfort, a listening ear balm for a troubled brain. I deeply admire those who do volunteer work. You are a goddess! Thank you for sharing this tremendous part of your heart with us!!! 💖 It was wonderful to remember Brown Sugar with you 💐🤗

she just wanted you to give your love to your benefactors, so did not tell you?

Maybe your work was a comfort to her that you were not even aware of?

These things didn't lessen the pain or questioning I had at the time, but yes, I do believe so too.

She was a fighter and not one to ring alarms or create drama. Her intention was to tell me after she had done the relevant surgery... Sadly, things turned out differently.

Brown Sugar knew all the different jobs I had done which I was passionate about. So for her to hear just how fulfilling my voluntary jobs were, must have made her smile.

Thanks for your kind words 😘

@millycf1976, I know how hard this was for you to write. I know how much suffering went into putting “pen” to “paper”. It’s essential, sometimes, to visit the things in our past that hurt us the most, because in visiting them we often remember the good times; the special things that we might, otherwise, have forgotten.

You played and you laughed and you connected with your Brown Sugar, in a very special way. It’s so hard to love someone completely and then lose them. But…but from the nostalgic emotion pouring from that “pen” she’s with you, she’s pushing you forward and calling your name : “Milly, remember the good times, that’s what you have to do!”

Thank you so much!

because in visiting them we often remember the good times; the special things that we might, otherwise, have forgotten.

That's so very true. Many happy memories came flashing back, even now. So, yes, I'm happy that I hit the publish button instead of the trash bin😊😘

The trash bin would’ve been the ultimate tragedy 🎭

Yeah, I can feel that now 🤗😍

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