Goal Getter

Enugu, a unique city in southeast Nigeria, with a vibrant energy that permeates its busy streets. Against a backdrop of soaring buildings and busy markets, the city emits a distinctive combination of modernism and traditional history. In this very city lived a young woman called Ijeoma. Ijeoma came from a humble background, from a struggling family that strived to make ends meet. Irrespective of her family’s financial background, she was determined and ambitious. Her parents valued education and made sure she and her siblings attended school. Ijeoma in particular believed in hard work and perseverance, and so she excelled in her academies determined to get free from the cycle of poverty.

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One day, Ijeoma’s aunt, who lived in London, sent her a link to an advertisement for a scholarship program that would sponsor exceptional students across Africa to study abroad. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, Ijeoma said, breaking the news to her best friend Nkechi. They had been friends for a long time, always looking out for one another. Ijeoma recommended that they both apply for the scholarship since she didn't want to keep this wonderful opportunity all to herself. Nkechi declined because she was an only child and had to stay at home to care for her ill mother. Nkechi grinned warmly at Ijeoma and added, "I wish you all the best, my friend”.

She worked very hard and studied day and night to prepare for the scholarship exams. She scored well and was selected as one of the top applicants. However, the journey was far from over. Ijeoma had to find a way to finance her living costs while studying overseas because the scholarship only covered her tuition. She approached a number of non-governmental organisations and also wrote a letter to the High Chief of her community, requesting money. Ijeoma's community was captivated by her unwavering will to follow her aspirations overseas. People from all walks of life came together to lend her financial assistance and mentorship after being moved by her tenacity. Local companies helped her cause because they saw her potential and the difference she could make in the future. Community members also arranged fundraising activities, and donors generously contributed money to help Ijeoma study abroad. Many well-wishers were impressed by her narrative and were drawn to her tireless tenacity and unyielding spirit. With the help of her community, Ijeoma was able to earn enough money to pay for her living expenses while she was studying overseas.

On that very remarkable day of her life, very early in the morning, the air was cool and crisp carrying the aroma of freshly brewed coffee from the street-side cafes, the city slowly came alive with the symphony of distant car horns, echoing footsteps, and the quiet anticipation of a new day. Ijeoma prepared her belongings, said goodbye to her family, and left for an amazing journey to chase her dreams. Ijeoma encountered many difficulties in the distant country. She had to adjust to a new way of life, deal with a new educational system, and get over homesickness. But her unwavering will and the encouragement she got from her new friends and mentors helped her advance. Ijeoma achieved academic success and made a significant effort to participate in extracurricular activities. She got active in volunteer work and supported causes that were important to her. Her enthusiasm and ambition attracted the attention of powerful people, and she received internship and employment offers from famous companies.

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After completing her studies abroad and working for a few years, Ijeoma returned to Nigeria with a deep sense of gratitude and a burning desire to make a difference. Drawing from her own experiences and the support she had received, she initiated several programs to push for educational opportunities for disadvantaged kids back home so they could reach their full potential. She established scholarships for underprivileged children, ensuring that financial constraints would not hinder their pursuit of knowledge. Furthermore, she organised mentorship programs, connecting young individuals with successful professionals in various fields and providing guidance and inspiration. Additionally, she spearheaded community development projects, focusing on areas such as infrastructure, healthcare, and access to clean water. Through these initiatives, Ijeoma showcased her unwavering commitment to giving back to her community, creating opportunities for others, and inspiring a new generation to reach for their dreams.

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Your writing is clear and descriptive, however, the tale lacks a certain “passion”. Short stories are packed into a small space, they require a toolbox of skills to make them effective. A short story should feature a definite conflict and a resolution. Methods to achieve this end include using dialogue and action in your story to “show” rather than “tell” the tale.

Please refer to The Ink Well’s resources, which are pinned to the community’s page for further tips and strategies to improve your writing.

Thanks for your candid observtions and recommendations. I believe there's room for improvement. I'll work towards doing my best.

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