I never used to like the idea of "an eye for an eye" and "a tooth for a tooth", but an incident that happened some time ago had me thinking otherwise.
There is a friend of mine who I thought we were so close that we would always be involved in each other's lives. We both attended the same secondary school and though we weren't so close back, we still talked even though we didn't stay close to each other.
But attending the same higher institution brought us closer, we studied the same course and our place weren't too far from each other because she stayed with her aunt and her husband whose house is not too far from my house.
We go to school together every day, we read together, share secrets. I do visit her during weekends and whenever we have free time. We were like sisters or so I thought.
When we went for our teaching practice, we chose the same school and one closer to home to be closer and we enjoyed our time teaching those kids.
After graduation, we worked in different schools but we still talked although not as we used to but enough to keep our friendship going.
Then one weekend, I was home when I got her message on my phone
"Ore, I don marry o,(which means, Friend, I got married)"
When I saw the message, I laughed at first because I felt it was a prank. Then I asked how she could be married without me knowing.
I didn't believe it until she sent me pictures. She is not an actress nor a skit-maker so there is no denying what I am seeing. My friend with her husband and others in wedding pictures.
I was happy for her but deep down, I felt very bad. I remembered just how we used to talk about our weddings, how we both said we would tell our partners not to take us too far away from each other so we could still be able to visit each other after marriage. I looked at the pictures and saw how I would never appear in her wedding pictures. A day that cannot be gotten back.
I am not one to always care for public opinions but at that time, I wondered what people who knew us would think, "Why is Rukkie not at her friend's wedding?", "Did they quarrel?", "Are there friends no more?"
Many of these thoughts were all in my head, I felt really bad about it. Though she apologized claiming it was not a loud event and it happened fast but from the pictures she sent me, I saw the wedding ceremony took place at her grandmother's open compound with chairs and tents all around. I knew preparations for a wedding no matter how fast it is can't be done in one day. So all through the preparation process, she didn't deem it fit to remember to tell me.
I could remember when her grandmother died, I was with her all through for the preparations. My mum knew her aunt and her aunt's husband, so when I told my mum, I wanted to go assist them with the burial preparations, she gave the go-ahead.
I was with them at her grandmother's house a day before the burial, I washed, cleaned, assisted with cooking, and many more, and on the day of the burial, I did triple the work I did the day before. I served their guests, and washed plates. It was as if the ceremony was my family's. Well, that was what I thought because that was how I saw our friendship, I felt we were more like sisters.
So seeing as I suddenly became an outsider hurts me so much but I just let go of the hurt and wished her a happy married life. The whole thing sort of reduced our level of communication.
So you can guess right, when I had my wedding, I didn't deem it fit to invite her nor did I inform her that I was married. I only made sure, I posted the pictures on my Facebook account for her to see and I knew she saw them because she liked the pictures.
After some time, my mum told me she saw my friend and that my friend told her(my mum) she saw I got married not quite long ago and asked why she wasn't invited. My mum gave the response she had given others who asked the same question. "It wasn't a loud event".
I wondered why she didn't call me to ask me personally. I mean, why? She didn't like the taste of her own medicine?
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