in #hive-1707986 months ago

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This is an affecting piece. You write with feeling and are able to convey that feeling to the reader.
One thing you should watch for is tenses. Your tenses tend not to agree with each other and this interferes with the positive impression of the piece.

You do a nice job here...a little bit more intro perhaps, in the start, might have been helpful, also, but as it is the intro does place us in the scene immediately. Also, the piece could have been longer, more information.

Overall though, this was a pleasant piece to read. Thank you for sharing the experience with us.

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Thank you😍😍