We have some tips for you from our catalog of storytelling tips, @ubdan313:

• Quality stories combine action, dialogue (the things people say), and narrative. Your story is almost all narrative, so it's missing a few of the elements. See our article, Action, Dialogue and Narrative: The Dynamic Trio
• Additionally, readers expect an ending that resolves the conflict in the story. Instead of the conflict being resolved in the story, your character is no better off at the end than at the beginning. You can read more about this in our articles, [Adding Conflict(https://peakd.com/hive-170798/@theinkwell/writing-tip-of-the-week-2-adding-conflict), and Story Arcs.