My life has had a series of challenges, good and bad times, and memories to hold onto notwithstanding. While trying to fix myself, I realized life has placed options before me.
"He left, but he promised he'd be back," Mom said in a mumble.
I felt quite better anyway. I never got the chance to see his face before he was gone; I had no idea what he looked like because I was tender. So growing up in his absence left a hole in my heart, and I wished each day that he'd show up at the door and fill in the void of emptiness.
And so I guessed some wishes were not meant to come true; perhaps he never cared even in the slightest. I saw how hard my mother worked to ensure I was happy and how compassionately she raised me.
And for the umpteenth time, I thought of my dad. I got puzzled by questions my head could not find answers to. "Why did he leave? And why isn't he back like he promised?"
Time after time, I wished to see him, hug him, and love him, but possibly he never thought of my existence.
I could see the worries on my mom's face; they were quite burdensome. It wasn't easy for her to raise a daughter alone, but still, she stayed for me.
Challenges trooped in from different corners, gripped me, and placed my mom in an off-balance state. I almost sank into depression seeing my mom impaired because of me; it seemed the world was against us.
Source
That moment, I felt something different: anger and hatred. The number of times I ran into my mom crying fueled my hatred for him, and at that point, I never wanted to see him again.
Life grew tougher, but we were able to live for each other. I was affected in ways I couldn't fathom. I lost my self-esteem and my abilities, and I became unsociable.
One of the days, my mom bumped into his cousin, who'd told her that he was doing so well with a wife and two kids. How shocking!
He had already moved on with his new and beautiful family, but never took a second to think of us. And I thought to myself, "Would I ever forgive him?"
I had bills piling up for me to settle in high school; otherwise, I wasn't going to write my WAEC. My mom had gone to different places for financial aid but got awfully turned down. I got exhausted seeing her go through pain, and then I deciphered for the first time how I could break free.
One door closes and another opens.
I decided that if I was going to break free, I'd start from within. So I opened my heart to a new beginning, to love and friendship.
A few positive people surrounded my life and gave it meaning. All my bills were paid, doors were open, and opportunities to showcase my abilities came knocking and earned me a scholarship.
My greatest happiness was seeing my mom smile so affectionately and gaining her strength. Her stability was swiftly restored.
So recently, I received the greatest shock of my life. He called. "How on earth did he get my number?"
I allowed him to do the talking, because there was absolutely nothing I could say to him. I guess I wasn't paying much attention to most of the things he said over the phone, but I was overly drawn to the question he asked. "Are you done with secondary school?"
His question got me giggling and wondering if he deserved an answer; perhaps he does, but not from my mouth. Please, can someone help me tell him that I'm in my final year at the university?
