Love should be at the centre of everything that we do in this life, but what is love, and where is its source? What does it mean to love 'as yourself', and why are we commanded to love God with all our heart, mind, and soul?

1 Corinthians 13: 4-8a tells us clearly what love is and how we should show it:

"4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;[a] 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never ends. "₁₅

In 1993 J.A. Armour discovered an area of activity within the heart, the knowledge of which previously lay hidden from humanity: the heart-brain. It comprises approximately 40,000 neurons of sensory neurites, and is linked to the cranial brain by the vagus nerve, which we can imagine as a highway or conduit for information. Because the majority of the fibres in the vagus nerve are afferent, the heart-brain neurons relay more information to the cranial brain, than vice versa.₁ As such we can say that the heart informs the mind more than the mind informs the heart. Thomas R. Verny, MD described the heart-brain as a "sophisticated informed encoding and processing centre."₄ It can "act independently of the cranial brain to learn, remember, make decisions and even feel and sense. "₃

Furthermore, the heart brain not only has electrical neural activity like the cranial brain, it also releases hormones. The levels of oxytocin in the heart-brain are as high as in the cranial brain.₁ The key difference highlighted by Dr. Vadigepalli in his thesis paper, is that there exists a more "fluid expression" of these hormones in the heart-mind which allows the heart to fine-tune its responses to the brain.₂

Given that this chemical compound is known as the love or bonding hormone, this turns a lot on its head! Previously it was thought that all cognitive and emotional activity were vestiges of the mind alone. We now know, however, that our body does not only have a brain situated inside our head, but it also has a heart-brain and as an aside, a gut-brain,the latter of which does not fall within the scope of this piece.

The heart is not only the seat of emotions, feelings, and love, but is also the seat of intuition, which is often described as a representation of our unconscious being, or our higher spiritual selves. Intuition is that little voice that speaks from within, seemingly without any application of conscious logic, guiding us to decisions that are usually good for us. Evidence for this somewhat supernatural characteristic of the human heart lies in the research conducted into non-local intuitive perception and pre-stimulus response times.

Non-local intuitive perception is "the knowledge or sense of something that cannot be explained by past or forgotten knowledge or by sensing environmental signals." ₂ Radin's protocol on pre-stimulus responses "suggest the physical heart is coupled to a field of information not bound by the classical limits of time and space. This evidence comes from a rigorous experimental study that demonstrated the heart receives and processes information about a future event before the event happens. Participants in the study were shown "randomly selected, emotionally arousing or calming photographs"... the mean average recorded pre-stimulus response from the heart brain was 4.8 seconds BEFORE the image was shown." ₂ Further tests showed that the mind responded similarly, albeit 1.5 seconds behind the heart.

So how is this possible? If the researchers are correct, and their findings are well documented and based on rigorous testing, which they are, then we have to conclude that the heart and mind are connected to something supernatural if it transcends the rules of space and time. Could it be that we finally have verifiable evidence that our hearts and minds are connected to God's word through our intuitive self or soul, and all we have to do is be still... and listen?

It is fascinating that the heart's electrical field is 60 times that of the brain and detectable over the entire surface of the body, while its magnetic field is 100 times that of the brain and is detectable 3 ft away from the body.₃ These electrical and magnetic fields can impact both ourselves and others because human beings pick up on the electrical activity within the hearts and minds of those around them. It therefore matters what the state of our heart is when we are in close relationship with others.

We know that love has its home in the heart. But love is not simply a feeling. It is more than that. It is a choice. It is an action. And we are commanded by God to love above all other things. To fulfill the second part of Jesus's commandment 'to love our neighbour as ourselves' we first need to ask the question: how do we love ourselves, and then ensure that we are doing it? There is a duty bestowed on us and we have to ask ourselves if we are applying 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8a in our relationship with the self. Am I being patient, kind, compassionate, and forgiving of myself? Am I being honest, protective, hopeful, and persevering with myself? In short, am I failing myself? If I am treating myself with the very antithesis of love, how can I hope to love others adequately or to the extent that the Lord requires?

Before I can truly show love to someone else, I must show up in my own life. As Dr. Kirsten Neff puts it, we need to "turn the lens of self-kindness inward."₁₂ Self-compassion has to come first. We need to take care of our own oxygen masks before we can even begin to think of strapping one onto someone else. If we run out of air before we can complete the task because we didn't stop to take care of ourselves first, or consider the dire ramifications of that, nobody will benefit fully from the love we have to offer. The first step then is to ensure that we connect with our own needs, be gentle and compassionate with ourselves, and allow ourselves to bask in the love of the Lord so we fall in love with ourselves too. Maya Angelou says "Nothing will work unless you do." ₁₁

To become the best versions of ourselves; a self that we can truly love, we should practice achieving and sustaining Heart Coherence. This is "a synchronized and empowering state, physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, allowing us to become our best selves."₅ Appreciation, compassion, and forgiveness, when practised with intentionality, lead to a state of Heart Coherence, and bring balance and harmony to the heart's nervous system. Heart coherence is transformational because the heart-brain sends electrical signals or messages all around the body, and when the heart is in a state of coherence, this has a positive effect on every organ in our body, improving our health and sense of wellbeing. We can achieve heart coherence by doing the following three things: heart-focused breathing, activating positive feelings like appreciation, and focusing on something specific that brings a sense of deep gratitude. Once coherence is achieved, the mind, emotion, and intuitive heart achieve synchronicity and we achieve peak personal performance of our inner and outer selves. _{6, 7, 8} This then enables us to turn our attention outwards and allow God's love to work through us in relationship with others.

Maya Angelou proclaimed "People don't always remember what you say or even what you do, but they always remember how you make them feel."

To connect with ourselves and with others, we need to "Listen beyond the words, listen for feelings, values, for what isn't being said" _{Lynne Hurdle, Communication and Conflict Resolution Strategist}

We can then identify their love language; what they need, and show up for them as we have showed up for ourselves.

If we can show them love that makes them feel how we feel, then we are fulfilling our destiny as defined by the Lord.

If Love is the Greatest Commandment of them all, then we are designed to love. And this makes perfect sense coming from a Creator who is Love Himself. "8 Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love."_{1 John 4:8 ESV}

God conflated the separate aspects of self: heart, mind and soul. As Christoffel Snijders says, they were "blown together with ingenuity." They were designed to work in perfect harmony with each other, but when we turn our attention away from appreciation, compassion, and forgiveness for the self, we allow incoherence to creep into our lives and into our hearts. This then prevents us from being able to love as we were meant to do. Jesus commands us to love the Lord our God with all our heart, mind, and soul. This synchronicity across our entire being is powerful, and when we have heart coherence, it leads to coherence across the divide: the optimum heart position to be in to love with all that we have.

In the end, we love because God loved us first. His love is self-sacrificing and
He reveals His nature to us time and again.

"For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in Him, will not perish but have eternal life."_{John 3:16}

We should never forget that we are made in His image and that He is the ultimate expression of love. We were made to be in relationship with Him first, and thereafter with others. He has set the path for us to follow, and He leads the way. When we turn our gaze inward and listen with quiet intent, we hear the voice of Love, and we are reminded of our purpose in this world.

We were made to Love.