Hello hivers!
Today I would love to share what has been on my thoughts for a while now which is DEPRESSION.
What is depression
Depression is seen as a common and serious medical illness that affects one negatively in the him/her reasons and act.
Depression can cause sadness, loss of interest in things you love doing, loss of appetite and the feeling of wanting to be left alone and also depression causes one to think of committing suicide.
Depression is seen in most on the youths today in most cases they commit suicide.
I’m trying to understand why they do it, and how does the people around them not notice that they were going through depression.
Recently suicide have been trending on the internet so it made me wonder and scared at the same time because someone you just spoke to, might end up dead the next minute out of depression.
Even the people who have all the good things in life commit suicide, is depression spiritual? or it’s just a medical situation?. Most people even check themselves into rehabilitation center thinking they can fight it but they end up giving up.
Understanding depression one has to understand the root cause of it.
What causes depression?
Depression can be caused by different things, for different people it can be; Abuse, Misusing certain medication, from the genes, gender, serious illness, losing a loved one or a job, conflict etc.
All these things causes depression and I think the most serious and common factor that causes depression among youths is MONEY. When one is struggling to make ends meet and all your efforts don’t go rewarded, it makes one sad and you start isolating yourself because you see your friends doing better. From isolation you feel intimidated and you want to end it all.
What surprises me is people who are doing well in their carrier and have a good social life, who we see laughing every now and then, who are healthy commit suicide. It makes me ask myself if this is something spiritual or if it’s just some mental disorder.
Not seeing the sign
How do we not see the sign that someone is suicidal or that someone is depressed, how do we miss that.
I think we miss that because someone people are embarrassed to share their issues and also discuss the suicidal part in them and also they find it hard to tell someone that they are depressed. With being embarrassed they try as much as possible to look happy, engage in daily activities and also they try so hard to make anyone not to have a slightest clue that they are not really happy.
Come to think of it they are some people who actually show this, they push out everyone and everything in their life, they isolate themselves. Theses ones are not hard to notice but why didn’t people around them notice and stop them from killing themselves. Is it that his/her family and friends where too busy with their life that they did not think that he/she will commit suicide or they felt they were handling it.
We should be more careful with the ones we notice and try as much as possible to help them be in control.
My experience Few years back in my house, be had a tenant who committed suicide. Then I was in school and I came back for holiday, when I came back I noticed we had a new tenant and he was a young boy who had just finished his NYSC (National Youth SERVICE CORP) which means he was a fresh graduate. He did not school in Nigeria, he schooled in South Africa and he was looking for a job which I got to know about after he killed himself.
He used to talk to me but I was not close to him, one day we exchanged numbers he would always call me to disturb me to come to his house and all that and I kept refusing because he had a girlfriend and I didn’t want people to start assuming otherwise.
On one faithful day my mum traveled and I was left with my siblings at home, so I decided to go visit my friend who stayed along my street, while I was at her place he (tenant) called me, I didn’t pick up because I felt he wanted to disturb me to come to his house I never knew something was wrong with him. I went home in the evening and I did not see him and I didn’t call back so I went to bed.
The following morning my younger brother passed his house and found his door opened and that was very early in the morning, we thought to ourselves that he could not be awake this morning and leave his door open so I told my brother to go knock on his door, which he did and there was no response I told him to go inside the house and check on him, he did and did not see him he opened the kitchen door and there was no sign of him, he came back, told me he did not see him in the room or kitchen I was eating so I could not go, I then told him to knock the bathroom door and if their was no response he should open the bathroom door and he did just that. When he opened the door he saw the young man on the floor lifeless he ran back and told me.
I called my mum and she instructed me to let our other tenants know about the incident. She then told me that she will be coming back home that minutes and that she was notify the police so they can come and investigate what what happened. I did what she told me and waited for her to arrive, before she arrived the police men arrived and went into the apartment and they found out that he had drank sniper (insecticide) he killed himself he committed suicide.
When we heard he committed suicide I did not know what to do or say because till date I kept thinking if I could have saved him when he called.
I could not see that he was suicidal and I did not notice anything. Because I was running away from him, I did not want to get close to him. I think I made a mistake that day, I wish I picked his call and I wish I helped him. Every time I remember that Incident I can’t help but blame myself.
I think we can try to help out, because one way or the other they reach out to us for help even when they don’t make it known.
How can we help
How can we help depressed people even though it’s hard for us to notice it in some people, how can we be of help to them.
Helping someone who is depressed is not an easy task because they will try their possible best to push you away, all you need is patience, love and care when you have these three towards the person no matter how he/she pushes you out you come back stronger not giving up.
You have to let them know that you are there from them whenever they need you to help or whenever they want to talk about anything. You can start a conversation asking they about their fears and why they are acting strange, try to make them speak up.
Try to find help from external support systems, support them in the process of therapy etc.
Help them know that suicide is not an option, that there is more to life and that they will not and can not remain in their current position for ever.
How to fight depression
Try to keep yourself busy, get a routine like time for bed, exercise, reading and look for things to keep you occupied even if you want to be alone.
Stop taking alcohol and drugs stay positive and believe that things will get better.
Set healthy boundaries for yourself, stay away from people that gives you bad impression or negative thoughts.
Try to seek professional help, from anyone who you are going to be comfortable with, don’t put press on yourself, try to take everything on step at a time. And always remember that you can not remain stagnant for ever as long as you put in effort.
Thank you for reading my post 🙂