One thing that's common with them is that I like to talk or think out loud; other times, I just crawl into my shell and do not want to talk. Some of them think I'm a very logical person; others think I'm just a big fool because I only do stupid things around them, but a few times, when I'm in my head about the things I want to do for myself, they see that I'm a little too serious. And, oh, I'm actually quite funny.
(You wouldn't easily guess this, and I don't know how I do it.).
For most people who just see me around, or I've never sat down to have a conversation with them, they only see this person who never smiles and doesn't even like to talk or mingle with others. But after our first few interactions, I always get "you're so funny" or "I actually didn't think it would be this easy to talk to you."
In a weird way, a tiny bit of me does enjoy people thinking they just can't walk up and talk to me. I think it saves me from a lot of unnecessary pleasantries, though I don't do it intentionally.
The point I'm getting at is that I think I'm an all-around person, and so a circle would be the best shape for me.
I am able to relate to people at their level and make them feel like this is a safe space to talk. If there's a work that I don't get enough recognition for, it's the countless therapy and counselling sessions I give to my friends.
In all this, though, I sometimes wonder if it's a good thing, because you can hardly ever guess what I'm thinking. And you can't immediately tell if you've wronged me. Because I will smile at you and cancel you in my head.
One thing I'm glad about is being very open-minded and constantly readjusting my point of view in ways that make better sense. I was having a conversation with my friend. This is someone that I have talked to every single day for the past year or two. She said she knows this is how I would see this issue, and I was like, You don't really know me. Honestly, I don't think anyone does. The way I explore different ideologies is crazy, and my friends are hardly able to keep up.
One thing that helps me is the self-development books I read. I am currently reading "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. That book makes my head ache. Maybe I will do a review soon. Have you ever read a book and felt like no one else should have access to this information? Yeah!
But I know I need to do better, and I am constantly doing that. I am constantly asking how the other person thinks I could have handled a situation better and how it makes them feel.