There is a story that is told in Greek mythology of a man who was so beautiful that anyone who looked at him immediately fell in love with him. It did not matter if you were a man or a woman, this man's beauty was such that love at first sight was the experience of anyone who crossed his path.

His name was Narcissus. He was a young hunter from ancient Greece. Both Men and women were killing themselves to have him to themselves. However, there was just one problem. This problem eventually caused everyone to hate Narcissus very bitterly.

Narcissus was not capable of loving anyone else but himself. In his mind, no one else was deserving of his love and affection because no one could match his beauty. This led to him rejecting every single person who at one point or the other propositioned him until something curious happened.

One fateful day, Narcissus was wandering in the forest when his beauty suddenly caught the eyes of a mountain nymph. This Nymph, named Echo was cursed by the gods to repeat the last words of everyone that spoke to her. She had angered Hera the goddess of marriage, the wife of Zeus... it is still unclear what it was that she had done to make Hera so angry as to curse her.

Echo wanted to talk to Narcissus and reveal herself but unfortunately, because of the curse on her, she could not initiate a conversation. So, she followed Narcissu behind and watched as he wandered through the forest.

At some point, Narcissus heard the sound of twigs and tree leaves rustling behind him as it sounded like someone was following him. He turned back and called out...

Who is there?

But echo could only repeat the last words spoken to her, so she replied by echoing...

Who is there?

After a while, Echo could no longer keep to herself and she decided to reveal herself to Narcissus. She summoned all the courage she could muster and reached out to Narcissus. Her first instinct when she saw him was to embrace him but as she spread her arms to wrap them around Narcissus she was shocked by what happened next. Narcissus being the indifferent and cruel jerk he has always been immediately retreated, removed her hand from his person, and looked at her with a condescending look while shouting that he could never love her.

Echo was devastated by this, so she retreated into the woods and gradually faded away until only her voice lingered in the forest repeating the words that everyone in that forest would say to others.

Watching from above, the goddess Nemesis saw that Narcissus was a heartless fellow and decided to teach him a lesson. So one day while he was walking in the forest, he suddenly saw something that drew his attention in the distance.

He started running to find out what it was that was so shiny. When he got to the area, he found out that there was a still pool of water reflecting the rays of the sun.

He leaned over, and suddenly he caught a glimpse of his reflection and was instantly enchanted. He fell in love instantly with a reflection of his image but in his mind, he thought that he had fallen in love with someone as beautiful as he was. He stood over the water looking at his reflection expecting some form of reciprocation which never came.

Narcissus languished in despair after a while because he soon discovered that this love could never be fulfilled. This made him bitter and heartbroken.

Some people say that this is the point where Narcissus finds out what Echo felt when he rejected her proposition for love. In time, it is said that Narcissus withered and died leaving behind a single bloom of flower called the Narcissus flower or daffodil.

Now, this ancient story offers us a very deep allegory for what we now call narcissistic personality disorder. Of course not every narcissistic trait signals a personality disorder, the myth only captures its essence: an inflated sense of self a lack of empathy, and the inability to forge meaningful connections... something some would call self-love.

What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)?

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a long-term pattern of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that significantly deviate from cultural norms. It shares common features like impulsivity and emotional regulation difficulties with other personality disorders, such as histrionic, borderline, and antisocial personality disorders.

In simple terms, NPD is a condition where a person exhibits an exaggerated sense of self-importance and a desperate need for admiration. However, beneath this façade lies intense self-insecurity. To compensate, individuals with NPD often denigrate others and express grandiose ambitions.

At the core of NPD is a belief in one’s superiority over others. Such individuals may scheme and manipulate to achieve their goals without regard for others and struggle to see their behavior as wrong.

Characteristics of NPD

• Grandiosity-The Man with NPD does not understand why he was fired from a job where he boasted of being better than the manager and decided to take over his job... in his mind, he believes that he is in the right and does not understand why he would be fired for trying to take the job of his manager since in his mind he more qualified than the manager.

• An inflated sense of self-importance and entitlement.

• Unrealistic ambitions- A person with NPD would tell you that he will be an astronaut in 2 years. He has not gone to school, he has not applied and he would not... but he believes that he is so intelligent that he should be running the NASA space program

• Lack of Empathy-- A person suffering from NPD can steal money from a poor person and say that he is only taking what he deserves from the man who would not know how to put the money to use.

• Inability to form meaningful relationships.

• Manipulative Behavior

• Lying or concocting stories to fit their narrative.

• Scheming to achieve personal goals, often at others’ expense.

• Sense of Entitlement

• Expecting favorable treatment and compliance with their expectations.

• Emotional Numbness

• Difficulty experiencing genuine joy or happiness.

After describing this...it might be easy for Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang theory to come to mind, but remember that Sheldon was smart, and had the work to back up his boast. Was Sheldon smug most times, Yes. But he does not suffer from NPD.

It is possible to be Narcissistic and not suffer with NPD. A lot of people have narcissistic traits but can rein themselves when they need to. This is impossible for people with NPD.

How many people have NPD?

NPD affects about 1.2% of the population, similar to schizophrenia, not a very popular condition.

Age of Onset: Typically diagnosed in late teens or early adulthood (18+).

Gender: Predominantly diagnosed in males (50-75%).

Genetics: About 60-70% of NPD variation is attributed to genetics. Family environments fostering narcissistic behaviors also contribute.

People with NPD have higher rates of suicide, often with more lethal attempts. Coexisting conditions such as substance use disorders, depression, and anxiety are common. At the core of narcissistic PD is a feeling of worthlessness and the attitude and behaviors are a way to compensate for that extreme feeling of valuelessness.

What makes it likely for someone to get NPD?

• Mismatch in parent-child relationships, with either excessive adoration or criticism.

• Childhood emotional abuse or neglect.

• Unpredictable parental care.

• Learning manipulative behaviors from caregivers.

Who do we treat NPD?

NPD is extremely difficult to treat because people who have NPD do not believe that they have a problem. They do not believe that they are abnormal, they believe that the people around them are the abnormal ones and if anyone would need treatment it would be the people who are not recognizing his "talents and intelligence".

When treating a person with NPD, you can't tell them their diagnosis. There is no medication to treat the condition, treatment is mostly focused on :

• Individual Psychotherapy

• Developing coping skills to handle criticism and rejection.

• Building empathy and forming realistic views of abilities.

• Addressing Coexisting Conditions

• Treating substance abuse, depression, or anxiety disorders.

Here are some tips for people around people with NPD--

this is if you have a family member or friend with NPD.

• Don’t Call Them a Narcissist: This will not lead to insight. It will lead to a fight... you don't want that.

• See Them for Who They Are: Avoid idealizing or demonizing them.

• Don’t Argue: Engaging in arguments is often unproductive.

• Set Clear Boundaries: Define what you will and will not tolerate.

• Expect Pushback: Be prepared for resistance when setting boundaries.

• Focus on Choices: Emphasize personal choices and their consequences.

• Seek Support: Protect your mental health by seeking help if you need it.

Conclusion

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a complex condition that requires compassion and understanding. While it poses challenges for those affected and those around them, effective strategies and treatments can help manage the disorder and improve relationships.