Coming from a very small family of two, I've found out that we are no longer together as work and life have scattered us miles apart. We see each other only once in many years, which has deepened my appreciation for larger families. I admire the feelings that come from having multiple siblings, and that admiration has fueled my desire to have more children myself. Yet, I find myself in an ocean of pregnancy phobia🥺 this daughter of Zion fears the process of getting pregnant again, let alone stepping into the delivery room. Don't laugh at me🤣
Pregnancy, the transformational tool👌
Whenever I see babies, it feels as if I should take them home with me. The last time I went through this journey was seven years ago. It’s not that I haven’t experienced it before, but the thought of going through it again sends shivers down my spine. Remember, I said it's not for the weak like me, yours might be different as we know, body differs👌
When I see a pregnant woman, an overwhelming fear washes over me. I can't help but feel pity for them, recognizing that they too may endure the same challenging path as I did, especially if they’re close to me. I find myself asking, “Why am I scared?” The memory of giving birth to my first child is still vivid in my mind, it was as if I had seen heaven and returned. Despite that, the journey didn’t end there, the postnatal recovery was another story to tell. This story is for another day. It was not easy at all!
Babies are lovely to behold!
The second experience wasn’t as bad as the first one, but it came with its own set of challenges. On that delivery day, I felt as if I was dancing to no music, paralyzed by unbearable pain radiating from my back to my waist. I struggled to push, and ultimately, my husband had to opt for a Caesarean section. That was the moment I proclaimed, “No more children!” Yet here I am, yearning for more children again, despite the fear piled up in my heart. Men have no problem because God has done you well🤣🤥
However, the pressure from my mother and mother-in-law continues to mount,they collaborate to remind my husband and me of the need to have another child. They don't quite understand the fear within me, it’s not that I don’t want more children, I’d love to have just two more because I wanted a large family of four,but the fear holds me back. Not my fault, dear mothers!
All grown up. You see that girl, she wants a baby so bad 👍
Deep down, I know that one day I will embrace the journey one more time, even if it means facing my fears head-on, I will return here to share my experience if I eventually try it one time or twice more🤣
Am I lazy?
You can suggest what I should do to get out of my fear and achieve my desires before it's too late.
Honestly, I am scared but I wanted more....👌👌👌👌
The images are mine
Thank you!
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