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Let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he falls, the Bible says. There is no one beyond falling. It's never by power or might. We all have a part to play to not give room to the devil. There are some circumstances you find yourself into that if you don't take heed, you would fall.
Some of the causes for extra martial affairs:
1. Unmet needs:
We are into marriage to fulfil each other's needs and when these needs are not met, people are pushed to take extra step which they shouldn't take outside the boundary of their marriage. Your heart would always get drawn to that person who gives you what you need but you lack.
2. Unfulfilled Expectations:
Let's be truthful, we all have expectations before going into our relationship or marriage. We have an idea of how we want things to be but when that expectations fall short, people start looking around for what's not lost. Most of the times we try to fix what's not broken based on the mental expectations that we have. Naturally, our heart would get drawn to those who have their own expectations fall short too and in the process of consoling each other, you both fall. You need to take caution.
3. Low Self-esteem:
Some people have low self-esteem. When you don't see yourself the way you ought to...you would do anything just to prove your worth to those who don't even matter. In life, you need to build your self-esteem. Self esteem is different from arrogance.
4. Unresolved conflicts:
There is no marriage without conflict. How you choose to handle conflict in your relationship would make or mar your relationship. When you resolve it with maturity, it brings you both closer but when you leave a crack, you are tending towards unresolved issues.
5. Uncontrolled thoughts:
Whatever you see would always have a way of messing up with your thoughts. You have to control your thoughts and lack of this would always create some mental image in your head which would give you another unrealistic expectations that might force your hands to do what you are not supposed to do. Every evil thing you can think of starts with a single thought and the more you dwell on it, the more it becomes a part of you. The more you talk about it, the more you think about it, the further from it you go. Stop talking and stop thinking about it too much and there is nothing that can control you. The only think that makes it a part of you is because you keep thinking about it. As a man thinks in his heart, so is he...the Bible says and it's accurate.
6. Unprotected lifestyle:
What kind of lifestyle moves you? What are the things that motivates you? What is important to you? There are some lifestyle that isn't expected of those in a relationship. A lot of people act single even when they are in a relationship. When you are not ready for one, don't force it.
7. Unreliable commitment:
Stick to your commitments. An idle hand is the devil's workshop. When a defining moment comes, define the moment or else the moment will define you. If you don't fall for something worthwhile then you will fall for anything. If you are not committed to anything or your relationship then you will see yourself being committed to things you shouldn't be committed to.
What To Do?
1. Make commitment to God's standard:
God instituted marriage and you can't know about a product unless you read the manual. For you to understand what marriage is all about, you have to understand God's standard and be committed to it. It's what you understand you can be committed to and what you are committed to, you see results.
2. Monitor your media intake:
Monitor the things you allow into your subconscious. Minimize the opportunity to be tempted. Those opportunities would come. It's not a matter of IF but when. The flesh is weak but you can strengthen your inner man to do the right thing at all times.
3. Ensure you maintain a proper relationship with the opposite sex:
Learning how to put people in their place and not entertain just anything would help you to grow even as a human. Maintain a healthy relationship with the opposite sex for the sake of your growth.
Thank you for your time.
My pen doesn't bleed, it speaks, with speed and ease.
Still me,
My tongue is like the pen of a ready writer.
Olawalium; (Love's chemical content, in human form). Take a dose today; doctor's order.