A Relationship Less Than 3 Months

in #hive-1782653 months ago


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At the beginning of this year, I never wanted to just jump into a relationship without taking my time to study my supposed partner, not after previous heartbreaks I have experienced. Sometimes, I just want to remain single for a while so I can enjoy the fun and have peace of mind that comes with it, not crying over a guy because he refused to pick up my calls, not give me what I wanted or raising my mind high with cheating and what have you.

But late in March, I came across a guy who I thought was mature enough to handle a relationship but was not. I decided to give him a chance but to begin first as friends, then watch and study him to see if truly he is worth spending my time with.

The friendship was going fine and I never asked for anything from him. I saw myself as being enough to take care of myself and do not need a guy's money to do that. I am someone who doesn't ask for money from a guy even in my past relationships, some of my friends would say it's okay to ask even if I have which I see some sense in it, lol. But I just wanted to give this guy time before asking for anything.

One of my goals this year is to keep my distance away from relationships until I have seen the correct man who is mature and responsible. You know, sometimes, you don't know someone from afar until they move closer to you. I decided to test this guy out.

A red flag was pointed at me on our first meeting but I ignored it thinking he was trying to test me. He met with me after service in the church (he is also a member and belongs to the instrumentalist team playing the guitar for the church) the next thing was for him to ask me to buy pure water for him. I went to get what to drink that afternoon and when he asked such a question, I got confused at first and looked him through his dress from head to toe before I agreed. In my mind, I was like, "This little amount is nothing" so I waved it off. I know he must have thought in his mind why I did such skeletal scrutiny 😄, we talked for some minutes and he asked for my number afterwards which I gave him.


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That was how the friendship started. You know what, this guy was bluffing and running his mouth when we met the second time and I was just looking at him while smiling because of how he was already selling himself to be a talkative and one with a sweet mouth. I wasn't surprised for a guy like him to keep running his mouth nonstop and if I could remember, I only said a few words to him and that was it. He was talkative and one who bluffs unnecessarily but he never knew I was holding those words in my hand in case he said something else next time of which I would catch him red-handed.

The friendship went on for a month and a half, I then decided to ask him for money just to test him especially since he would always show up at my house to eat and not bring something while coming. I know he wasn't the right guy but I decided to tag along to have lots of experiences to share with my friends, hahaha.

I was playing along and he, on the other hand, was claiming to love me, blablabla. I threw a big question at him one day what was his plan and ambition for the future, I was shocked to hear him say he doesn't plan for the future because he does not know when he will die. WTF! Was that coming from a guy who wanted a relationship with Princess? Nah. This one cannot take care of me. How much does he even have in his account? Don't get me wrong, I am not after a guy's money but I wouldn't want to end up with a guy who doesn't have a future nor does he have what it takes to care for a woman.


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Whenever I asked him for money, he would give the excuse that I have enough and also financially capable than him which I would tell him it doesn't mean. He would always come around to visit me and the caring girl I am would give him food, of course, I am hospitable. How does a guy come over to a lady's house and all he ever wants is food and to sleep? So crazy but I kept watching him until he crossed the line by asking me to give him a huge amount of money and when I refused him, he stopped texting or calling me for over a week.

I didn't bother to call him too because I knew it was time to send him away as he wasn't someone that should be in my life plus he wasn't ready to know what financial stability is. Imagine asking him if he ever saves and all he could say was that he doesn't save as he only believes in a lavish lifestyle. Lavish lifestyle for someone who isn't able to feed himself? 😃

I told my best friend about him and she said he is a gold digger who is after my money because I have made him know what I am capable of. She advised that I don't show off to guys instantly which I never did in the first place. I was only living my life the normal way I should and I guessed he saw that in me and decided to play a smart one on me.

After over a week, he showed up at my house uninvited and unexpectedly, I couldn't believe he could come around and he still couldn't give any reason for not calling. I didn't give him any attention as I was focused on what I was doing at that moment, after a few minutes of not saying anything, he stood up and said he was going, I said okay and that was it. I was just shocked as to how a guy who claims to be mature couldn't convince a lady and apologised. I had to text him afterwards and gave him my piece of mind quitting the so-called friendship, and all he, after reading it, could say was "Hmm. Okay" 😃 I think he is still a child.

Thank God I let him go with my words. Even though he still calls me every once in a while, trying to bring me back. But it is over. I don't want a nuisance in my life, one who behaves like a child and who cannot handle a relationship.


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Thanks for your time reading. Looking forward to your interaction.

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😂😂😂😂😂 I can't laugh.

My dear, he is a golden digger just as your friend said.

Imagine a man of that age behaving like a child. Thank God, you dropped him.
😂😂😂😂😂

I was surprised too. How can such a man still be like a child? Well, we have many of them out there, we have to be careful with them.

I don’t care what anyone says but the very first time he asked you buy him common pure water that is about how much sef? Naaa that’s when you should have said bye bye.

#dreemerforlife

You are right. I ignored that but thankfully, I ended it as soon as possible.

Hahaha, pardon me but I had to lol. You mean guys like this still exist? I thought they were almost extinct o😂😂😂.

I'd like you were branded items when you attend church service and the guy felt you were desperate for s husband material 🤣🤣🤣. Him no know say na independent woman him meet 😂😂😂

Omo, sis this guy is hilarious and I like the way you handled him. It was on spot and not so messy. At least you left his ego for him

I was shocked too. He is still living in the 19th century and do not want to wake up 🤣🤣 so lazy and doesn't have a job 🤣🤣🤣 that isn't made for me 😄

Hahaha. He saw a beautiful woman and wanted to tag along, not knowing na big load e wan carry but cannot 🤣🤣

So funny guy. He is also immature for relationship and he is over 30yrs oo. Imagine.
I observed he has pride, anger issues just like me, hahaha and a gold digger 🤣🤣🤣

Omo either all this you mentioned, I can only say it is the worst C.V ever for a guy 😂😂😂

May God help him o

I am happy you didn't teach him Hive thinking you've a future with him. He would've come here just to monitor your wallet and probably not do anything to improve himself.

Well-done in representing the sisterhood and noticing his red flags early.💫😀🍷🍷🍾

Yes oo. He would have been monitoring my account thinking he could play smart on me. Thank you for reading.

😀 Indeed.

omo things dey happen

yea that is a big red flag there

I think he started feeling entitled towards you and you are the bf while he is the gf in the relationship

not having ambition or goals is another red flag, he thought probably you will come begging and lend him the money, i don't think you should even be doing friendship with such a person, he is a user ...

That is it Burl
I was the bf here and he, the gf. So stupid and had to let him go because he doesn't have what it takes to be in a relationship.
Thank you for your comment.

He certainly deserve to 'take a hike'. He is defiantly in different place in life than you are.

We can only learn by experiencing life directly or by learning from others. It is reasonable that you gave him more time to clarify his true intentions. Even if that would be only to make him waste time in the same way that he wasted yours with his insolence and lack of maturity. Not to mention the exploitation of your hospitality.

I wish you better match next time!

We can only learn by experiencing life directly or by learning from others.

This is rightly said and as the phrase is, experience is the best teacher.

Thanks for your kind comment. I appreciate it 🙏

Always a pleasure!

Now I know you singles are seeing things and things 😂 Omo! I couldn't stop laughing while reading through especially that part where he said he don't plan for the future, because he doesn't know when he will die ...as in you dey whine me? 😂
Normally, Na boyfriend way no like stress 😂

Na me e go come stress? Not me 😃😃 a guy without ambition. Ladies should run unless met with someone who is like him.

Princess wn finish me with laugh 😅😅😅😅😅

Guy coming around to eat food always and sleep in a lady's house? No nah! That's kind of relationship in one's early stage in school 😅.

I love the guy's fact on saving.... anybody can die anytime ok! Why should he be saving??😂😂😂😂

Hahaha. Early stage in school indeed 😃😃
Well, I won't force anyone to save or not, but to have a relationship with Princess, he must save. I cannot come and be drinking garri na 🤣🤣

I need of this sory sha.
Incase you drop part two, tag me.

Because I want to know how you're coping with him in the same church. Your Nysc place, abi?😂

Hahaha 😀 of course, I am coping. I don't look at his side at all. Come to church, workship and leave.

Oh, was he expecting you to call him since he didn't call you... Oga, just dey play 😃😃😃

Some guys are like that, always trying to look to look for who will fund their lavish lifestyle. Later now they will say na women like money.

It's a good thing you let him off, no time for yeye friendship.

#dreemerforlife

Don't mind him. He thought I was desperate for a relationship 🤣 nonsense.