These days, I am getting better and better at sculpting away all the excess bagage, all the masks that I have been wearing ( pun not intended ), all the acting that I have been doing, almost my entire life, without being really aware of how much energy I drained this way.
I want to be more 'me', in everything that I do,
and that includes my writing and my visual art.
As can be read in the above image, I will:
Find a Way to Finish things
even though they might seem 'unfinished' to others
This is how my brain works ( it never finishes anything )
It's a Never Ending Story.
( it works in fragments and loops, many of them, and - above all - at hyperspeed )
Why conforming to what others expect?
Why make things more difficult than necessary?
I tend(ed) to do the above way too often and plan to change this,
where possible.
This one is dedicated to you @selfhelp4trolls ;<)
I know you would love to see an 'imperfect' book of mine, full of funny sketches. Your wish might very well become reality.
Being yourself might seem like a given for some of you,
but for me, this realization - knowing that I could actually do so, without shame, has been a revelation.
And I have only recently started to act up to it, at the age of 40
( I was about to type 80, which would include my twin sister ).
It sure helps that I seem to have created the perfect circumstances for it, in my recent past, more freedom, time and space to be 'me'
I turned towards hermit on a hill mode ( with the choice to see people )
This was the follow up step to my move to Portugal ( early 2018 ) and to quitting my last job ( for a paycheck and boss ) in August of 2016.
Thus I created the perfect circumstances, to live a life that fits me way more than being part of the hamster wheel, in a city full of people, who all aim to be productive and successful.
I was tired of competing and am tired of all the acting.
I always was, but these days I'm very much aware of it.
You might understand this even more, if you ( have ) read my previous post Climbing a Mountain on a Daily Basis
To kind of come full circle, let me end this with a quote by film critic turned filmmaker Jean-Luc Godard, known as one the members of the French New Wave, in cinema ( that started around 1960 ):
A film needs to have a beginning, a middle and an ending
but not necessarily in that order.
I am gonna borrow that and change it slightly.
A book needs to have a beginning.
I came up with the title "Unfinished Stories", many years ago. It's time to go back to that. Not always but more often.
Get used to the new me ;<)
