A Traditional Marriage I Witnessed

in #hive-1871892 months ago

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Hello dear hive friends, I would like to share with you, the traditional Marriage I witnessed in my Community, precisely at Nkwen Bamenda. This traditional wedding happened to be one of my family members. I witnessed a little difference with what it holds in my home town, Oku. Oku is found in the grassfields of the Bamenda high lands. And is noted for it's rich culture and tradition, the land of "Mkong Monteh" the founder of the OkuFondom ( Kingdom ) of Oku sub division in Bui, where I come from. And Nkwen Bamenda, where the Marriage ceremony took place is the regional headquarters of the north west region, of Cameroon. The difference I witnessed was the grandeur in which the ceremony characterized. This grandeur and sophistication was due to the high social status of the bride and groom, I believe. Before I proceed, I would like to make a brief analogy of Cameroon marriage traditions which Oku is part and parcel of it.

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Cameroon Marriage traditions:
According to Cameroon marriage traditions, a girl was betrothed at birth, and then married off at the age of 15. She was however free to reject her parents choice of husband. And a boy accordingly was allowed to marry only after his circumcision ceremony between the age of 14 and 18. It was the paying of the brideprice from the groom to the bride's family-known in french as "le dot" and basically sanctioning by the community members of the wedding, of which judging by the brideprice quality and payment but one of the many steps. Brideprice therefore is where the groom offers a certain amount of either goods and cash or both. This is given to the bride's father as a demonstration of his commitment to the bride. However things have changed in so aspects with the evolution of time and modernisation probably to show off.

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Permit me make a brief meaning of traditional Marriage inorder to make us understand what traditional is to make us understand my experience better. The primary established form of marriage recognized in any given Country or religion or social group at a given time. In that culture, traditional Marriage requires the families of the future bride and groom to engage in ritual visits and exchange of gifts inorder to familiarize and create a bond between the two families ( family of the bride and the family of the groom )

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The traditional Marriage I witnessed and what it holds in Oku, a tribe imbued with a rich cultural and traditional background:
In Oku, when a boy who is matured enough to commit himself to marry chooses the girl he intends to get married to, a finding is always made to know if they are related in any way either by blood or otherwise. And if the findings are favourable, they are allowed to do the needful. Formally intertribal marriage from far off tribes wasn't accepted. But today with the evolution of time and modernisation, intertribal and racial marriages is acceptable, provided the needful is done.
In Oku, traditional Marriage is done when the boy (groom) comes with his family or Kingsmen to the girl's (bride's) parents to ask for their daughter's hand in Marriage. This is initiated by telling the groom what he has to bring as the brideprice to show his commitment to the bride. Usually the bride's father ask for what he paid to dowry the bride's mother. And today it is convenient for the bride's father to turn some goods or favours he did in the bride's mother's family to cash, sometimes it is so exorbitant in nature. For example if the bride's father roofed a house in the bride's mother's compound with a bundle of zinc that costed 50000cfa at the time, he will ask for a bundle of zinc or it's equivalent which may cost so much comparatively. And also add a token for educating the bride especially if the bride is better off in terms of social status. This is usually summed up and added to the brideprice proper.
And normal ceremonial rituals are done to hand the bride to the groom after showing his commitment by paying the brideprice. He may pay in bits if he is not viable enough at the time. It usually ends with merry making, or refreshments offered by the bride's parents and extended family members present, and the groom goes home with his wife, as they are already recognized as couple sanctioned by the community members.
In the Oku traditional Marriage which I witnessed at Nkwen, Bamenda it had an officiant, pastor, Community members, the groom and the extended family members, the bride and extended family members, colleagues of the bride and groom, groups of the bride and groom etc. The ceremony actually took place in Nkwen, Bamenda due to the excalating crisis in the two English section of Cameroon, most especially as the couple couldn't go home due to insecurity reasons.
The ceremony began within the day with a procession in to ceremonial ground by the parties concerned. The bride's extended family members took in the bride covered with a cloth after bringing in number of different girls for the groom to identify as his bride and pay the brideprice to the bride's father. Each time they brought the wrong person he will pay a token for it, as transport to the bride's family members who them in, until his bride was finally brought in, and he handed the brideprice to the bride's father and collected his wife, and then they sat together on one seat as a couple contracted by the payment of the brideprice and sanctioned by the community members. That gave room for brief speeches officiated by the officiant and blessed by the Pastor present. And then gifts were presented to the couples by those present as a gesture for the marriage. And then photographs and heavy refreshments ended the day, and people departed to their respective destinations after witnessing the great traditional Marriage, full of fun.

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