A Rafael you don't know, my personal struggle, my loneliness, friends and family [Eng/Spa]

in #hive-187189last year

They have been quite busy, rushed, stressful days and so on, I am not lying to you, it is the reality, but thank God with health and with many news that I will be commenting on.

Today I want to tell you something much more people throughout this week of a lot of work.

Han sido días bastante ajetreados, apurados, estresantes y demás, no les miento es la realidad, pero gracias a Dios con salud y con muchas novedades que estaré comentándoles.

Hoy quiero contarles algo mucho más personas durante toda esta semana de bastante trabajo.

471F9A71-1F42-4EEA-9612-315031773537.jpeg

I am from a large family, and I don't think I had told you about this, I am the youngest of 8 siblings and by chance I have my father's name, excluding the last name, of course.

Music was part of my life since I was little and I didn't do anything else outside of it, even my primary and secondary education didn't have so much social interaction, so to speak.

Growing up, I realized that music was my world and not because my whole family does it, but because I believed in "what runs in my blood" and that every time I played an instrument, I felt peace and enjoyed every moment to the fullest. rehearsal and concert

Soy de una Familia numerosa, y creo que esto no se los había contado, soy el menor de 8 hermanos y de forma casual tengo el nombre de mi padre, quitando el ultimo apellido, claro.

La música fue parte de mi vida desde pequeño y no hice más nada fuera de eso, incluso mi educación primaria y secundaria no fue con tanta interacción social, por decirlo asi.

Al crecer me di cuenta que la música era mi mundo y no porque toda mi familia lo hace, si no que creí en "lo que se lleva en la sangre" y que cada vez que tocaba algún instrumento me trasmitía paz y disfrutaba al máximo cada ensayo y concierto.

784D2BC3-F6EB-4D59-9E8B-12C3849C5141.jpeg

But like everything, there is always a sacrifice in this life, and I think I made one without knowing that I was doing it, and also I didn't realize that I was more alone as the years went by.

Music gives you many companions and friends from moments that some became great friendships, but between occupations and the situation in Venezuela, almost all of them are no longer there, or some are not in the state, others outside the country and some more painful, they died.

Pero como todo, siempre existe sacrificio en esta vida, y yo pienso que hice uno sin saber que lo estaba haciendo, y además tampoco me di cuenta que estaba más solo al pasar los años.

La música te da muchos compañeros y amistades de momentos que algunas se convirtieron en grandes amistades, pero entre ocupaciones y situación Venezuela casi todas ya no están, o unas no están en el estado, otras fuera del país y algunas más dolorosas, murieron.

38FE57A2-8D89-484C-BAD2-84AF99D11C88.jpeg

Something crazier is that I never shared as such with my family outside of music and many years passed, until I could say that I shared with them, we were always many but we were always each one in their own world, the situation Venezuela made us get closer but also move away.

I keep growing and I realize that I have not experienced many things because as I told you, music caught me, I was never at home for a long time, nor at school, nor in any place where more people meet and share things outside of a score.

Algo más loco, es que nunca compartí como tal con mi familia fuera de la música y pasaron muchos años, hasta que de mi parte pude decir que compartí con ellos, siempre fuimos muchos pero siempre estuvimos cada uno en su mundo, situación Venezuela nos hizo acercarnos pero también alejarnos.

Sigo creciendo y me doy cuenta que no he vivido muchas cosas porque como les dije la música me atrapo, nunca estuve mucho tiempo en casa, ni el colegio, ni en ningún lugar donde se conoce más gente y se comparte cosas fuera de una partitura.

A4BBA901-8463-46AD-B02F-51ECF4A406A6.jpeg

Obviously, all this led me to a great depression, without money (which I still have without money haha) and those days were quite complicated in my mind, and those who know me know how I think and analyze and they suffered with me in those moments.

Little by little let's say that I "came out" but I still got a very different reality by not having anything that made me happy, friends, places, moments and my routine.

Obvio, todo eso me llevo a una gran depresión, sin dinero (que todavía sigo sin dinero jaja) y fueron días bastante complicados en mi mente, y los que me conocen saben como soy pensando y analizando y sufrieron conmigo en esos momentos.

Poco a poco digamos que "salí" pero igual me conseguí una realidad muy distinta al no tener nada de lo que me hacia feliz, amigos, lugares, momentos y mi rutina.

9E4D03EF-FCFA-4B57-ABB1-35D077C6638C.jpeg

During this week, among so many things that I did, I saw how life has changed me, and honestly I still can't get used to it, sometimes I feel that I reserve myself thinking or wanting something to be like before and therein lies my fault.

Nobody knows what one really feels until they talk about it, and I'm not one to talk so much when talking about personal things, but I began to tell little by little what has happened to me and it has helped me to drain all that I feel .

Durante esta semana, dentro de tantas cosa que hacia, veía como la vida me ha cambiado, y sinceramente aún no me acostumbro, a veces siento que me reservo pensando o queriendo que algo sea como antes y allí esta mi falla.

Nadie sabe lo que uno siente en realidad hasta que lo habla, y yo no soy de tanto hablar, cuando se habla de cosas personales, pero empecé a contar poco a poco lo que me ha pasado y me ha servido para drenar todo eso que siento.

52820984-DB99-41CD-8EDF-E2F3A4DBA62C.jpeg

I have always considered myself a strong person, and it is because I was also educated by my family to be solvent and independent, directly and indirectly, and I live between my ups and downs, or so I think.

They have been good days and also bad, beyond that 50/50 is life itself, we do not get what we want when we want, life will always be full of challenges, life will always make us sacrifice moments, and there I think that there is growth, it is not leaving one thing for another, it is knowing how to value a moment, already knowing that it is not eternal, knowing how to dedicate time to what truly fills us and knowing how to leave what is no longer for you and search among the uncertain what life and your actions do for a future that we do not see.

Siempre me he considerado una persona fuerte, y es porque también familiarmente me educaron para ser solvente e independiente, de forma directa e indirecta, y entre mis altos y bajos vivo, o eso creo.

Han sido días buenos y también malos, más allá que un 50/50 es la vida misma, no conseguimos lo que queremos en el momento en quelo lo queremos, la vida siempre será de retos, la vida siempre nos hará sacrificar momentos, y allí pienso que está el crecimiento, no es dejar una cosa por otra, es saber valorar un momento, ya sabiendo que no es eterno, saber dedicar tiempo a lo que verdaderamente nos llena y saber dejar lo que ya no es para ti y buscar entre lo incierto lo que la vida y tus actos hacen para un futuro que no vemos.

2868A14A-1638-4F46-8BD1-9E1949A02821.jpeg

Once a great friend asked me if I was happy, and at that moment I told her no, but after doing what you shouldn't do to maintain happiness; To recap, I realized that yes (it is not full happiness, I see it that way for now, it is the joy of small or large moments that make the glass fill.

Growing up, I realized that everything I've been through has helped me to be who I am today, and I'm not talking about the material, I'm talking about my strengths and also my weaknesses, I'm talking about how real I can be and how easy it is. It is already for me to show myself as I really am, that is a success for people who always hide behind something that we honestly were not and it hurt more and more to go out on the street and show a smile.

Una vez una gran amiga me pregunto que si era feliz, y en ese momento le dije que no, pero después haciendo lo que no debes hacer para mantener la felicidad; recapitular, caí en cuenta que si (no es la felicidad plena, lo veo asi por ahora es la alegría de los momentos pequeños o grandes que van haciendo que el vaso se llene.

Al crecer me di cuenta que todo lo que he pasado me ha ayudado a ser lo que soy hoy, y no hablo de lo material, hablo de las fortalezas y también de mis debilidades, hablo de lo real que puedo ser y de lo fácil que es ya para mi mostrarme como realmente soy, eso es un éxito para las personas que siempre nos escudábamos en algo que sinceramente no éramos y nos dolía cada vez mas salir a la calle y mostrar una sonrisa.

2CE59897-2A38-49A6-A2B7-EBF591025430.jpeg

My father, on the few times we spoke, told me -Life goes on, Nicolás, and giving up should not be an option- and that's how it is.

Cry, cry all you want, laugh, and laugh as many times as you can, love, and love without reserve, hug, and hug as if he/she were made of stone, my life has taught me that I was happy without giving myself It counts, and I did not value it, it remains to make amends and be happy while I am still alive.

Mi padre, en las pocas veces que hablamos, me dijo -La vida sigue Nicolás, y darse por vencido no debe ser una opción- y asi es.

Llora, llora todo lo que quieras, ríe, y ríe cuantas veces puedas, ama, y ama sin reserva, abraza, y abraza como si fuese el/ella de piedra, lo que llevo de vida me ha enseñado en que fui feliz sin darme cuenta, y no valoré, queda enmendar y ser feliz mientras siga con vida.

Sort:  

Your story reminds me of the story OF Suga of BTS. Making music and music itself have become his companion. He is not alone but he loves to alone making music. Making music is thale way he breathe, just like you. I am glad that music help you a lot. When I have my tough times, I rely to music to feel calm.

The music has saved me, and if she really did not know where she would be, there have been difficult moments that only she has made me get out of the bottom, thanks for your comment and good to know that I have been read!

Your story is very relatable and it is true that so many people are facing a lot of difficulties. When you see those on the outside, you may think they are the happiest people on earth but only them knows the exact issues they are facing with each passing day.

You dealt with depression in addition to the fact that Venezuela haven't been the safest place to be since the last couple of years. However, despite everything that is happening in your life and around your environment, you are still alive and you are still thriving.

You have done good things for yourself and I believe the future would be a lot better than the past.

Thank you for this comment, after going through so many personal things I think that I am just in my growth stage, there have been so many struggles and regrets that I can say that I feel better than yesterday and stronger than before, as I said, life is like that , ups and downs, some I hit harder and others not so much, but it's no use complaining but moving forward, it was hard for me to write all this, I'm not one to write personal things but I began to show myself more genuine and it makes me feel calmer, thanks for your comment again!

You are doing a really good job and I know it's never easy to write about something like this, but what you wrote is really commendable and I'm very proud of that.

It is an experience which many people can learn from. A very inspiring and motivational experience.