It's not you , it's me . It's always me who always try to feel fit in a inappropriate place for the sake of peace. I made always bad decision after prioritizing my short term happiness & short term satisfaction.
Again, it's not about you guys, it's about me & my emotion which didn't work anymore. After being emotional for a long long time nowadays I became a person without any emotion , without any attachment & finally a alone me with nothing but the peace.
If I smile and talk to people, you will assume that I am a personality less person. Many thing about me is now not present anymore in me , specially in the matter of emotiom cause you guys always completely take those things for granted.
I'm slowly accepting the fact that no matter how deep the bond is, no matter how happy those memories are, the day will come when you'll end up taking different paths and move on.
When I was a child, I wanted to run away from home.
And now? Be it shame or sadness, I want to go home empty-handed. It seems that when I go home, all my worries will be better. As a child, we used to run away when we saw our parents, lest they catch us. And when we grow up afraid, we go to hold our parents. It seems that once we get to them, no other danger in the world can touch us.
This is that our parents, our family, our house turns from a place of fear to a place of courage for us, isn't this what it means to grow up?
Day by day the outside world is getting a matter of fear for me . I prefer to stay at home ,with a boundary of strict parents. Again it's not the matter of your peace, it's the matter of my peace. I'm getting detached with the people I used to love after hearing their negative thoughts about me , about my faults , about my existence . As a person I totally changed myself, I am not that person who was talkative. I am not that person who used to be a shameless in the matter of friendship, relationship or any kind of emotional attachment.
This is the new me , a whole strong personality with the less emotional attachment. Cause it's the matter of my soul, not yours.